Falling Apart

Because of my chest pains I was taking Ibuprofen consistently every day as directed by my doctor. Today I stopped my regimen of pain killers and my chest still feels slightly irritated, but now my right wrist has suddenly flared up with a scary repetitive movement-like injury. (BURNING OW!!!)

I feel like I am falling apart! *SIGH*

I'm still living healthy even if the rest of me can't seem to stay that way too! ;) I can walk and bike without using my right arm. I am going to cut this entry short because typing with one hand takes too long! Is it the weekend yet?! :)

-Jess

Like Clockwork...

My period started today, right on schedule. Even though I am all puffed up again, I am still a pound lighter than when I puffed last period! :) (I was 143.25. this AM)

Today was good day! :) I walked around the block at lunch, and when I got home I rode the bike for a bit.

My total calories for today were 1960 which falls in between my 1600-2000 calories a day range.

Feeling Upset...

This has me in such a funk, I have to just rant a bit....

I saw AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH this weekend. Everyone should see this movie, everyone.

I've never doubted the existence of Global Climate change. In fact every scientific study that has been published about about CO2 levels, ocean temperatures, etc... have all been peer-reviewed and verified. And NONE of the scientific studies have ever been disproved. YET "Global Warming" in the press and media, 53% of the articles released about global climate change doubt it's existence!!!

Since most people get thier information from the mass media and not hard science journals... I can see why so many people are ignorant about this issue and prefer to believe that "flucuations in the weather is a natural."

You just have to listen to the weather to know it is happening. +100' Temperatures in Washington state, drought and brush fires raging in the south, while flooding happens in the North-East. (And that doesn't even go into the melting permafrost, and artic ice...)

I have been doing well on keeping up with my exersice, but my calories spiked up yesterday.
PMS + Monday + Leftover Chocolate Pie = Over 2000 calories consumed. Time to restart my reward count. :)

My weight is up to 143.25 this AM, but I don't care! :)

Bug Reported and Fixed

Woohoo! I wrote an e-mail to the Lycos support people, and told them that the comments were only working in IE for my blog. They quickly corrected the bug. so please load my page up with comments in celebration! :)

-Jess

New Comments Window Only works with MS IE!?!

Wow, if this PMS wasn't enough to get me all crabby, now Tripod has changed they way comments get posted.

It seems to be written in a javascript that ONLY runs in Microsoft Internet Explorer! Argh!

I think it is time I get my own domain.
I have already started the process of moving this site to a hopefully Ad-Free domain! :)

I will be looking into moving this site over the next couple of weeks, and hopefully finding a way to migrate my blog too.

We'll see how long it takes me to get my ducks in a row! ;)

-Jess

Crabby Jess!! :P

My next period is due to start in less than a week. I realized this after I got instantly irritated by a question my husband was trying ask. I couldn't figure out what he wanted to know, so I kept asking him for clarification... my tone rising each time.

He then asked why I was getting so upset... that's when it dawned on me; my last period started 24 days ago... DAMN! No wonder I feel like I have been lobotomized!!

So my hormones are bottoming-out, I am puffing-up, and I am making a chocolate pie for my husband's birthday!!! This does not sound like a safe combination! But I will do my best!

I am still on target to get my next reward. I do not want to blow it this weekend and have to start the count all over! :)

-Jess

This is my Brain on Cosmo....

I was at the doctor today for a check-up and two things really set me off.

One was a article called "Half Their Size" in People Magazine. It was about people who had lost lots of weight without surgery. I was like cool, this is like me... But then the article said "No matter how many sit-ups you do, after losing a massive amount of weight you have to have plastic surgery to 're-contour' the body."

This really upset me because my body didn't NEED to be "re-contoured." I lost my weight slowly, so my skin kept up with my new shape. Deep down, skin is LIVING TISSUE, not a worn out sack stuck on your outside!!! And in time skin takes your new shape. (If you are young enough...)

The other thing that set me off were the air-brushed models in the advertising.

When I was on BBC's website today I discovered that they are doing a show to tomorrow night on The Money Programme called The Beauty Backlash. (BBC Two at 7pm)

I wish that I had access to see it... (I'd even pay for the Color T.V. license.)

I sounds like it is about the self-image problem many women have from the young airbrushed models featured in advertising.

How the make-up companies bleed us for money while touting magic creams that will reduce the appearance of wrinkles, make you desirable, or firm up your thighs. (Because You're Worth It!)

Nearly all of their ads feature a woman that has never had a wrinkle or cellulite in her life. (And they still airbrush her!)

They have been doing this since the 1970's. That's 30 years of making women believe they can't be beautiful without make-up... how sad. :(

In reality, I don't wear make-up unless it is a special occasion, and this post was one of them. ;)

A Journey Without A Destination

When I first started to lose weight, the weight came easily and quickly. To stay motivated I got a reward for every 10 pounds lost. (Usually a DVD) But after I lost 100 pounds, my weight loss started to slow down. So to keep my motivation high I switched my rewards to every 5 pounds!

Now that I've lost just over 135 pounds… I am stuck. I have been stuck here for over 6 months! I've never stopped my healthy lifestyle - and my body keeps getting more toned - but that scale just isn’t budging!!

I think it is time to redo the Motivation Rewards System again!!! ;)

It's hard to stay motivated when you see no progress towards your goal, and after half a year with no numeric results, I was getting discouraged. Then I had an Epiphany:

Why was I only getting rewarded when I reached certain weights?! I've NEVER WANTED to weigh a "magic number." That has NEVER been my goal. My REAL goal is to just be as healthy as possible! I don't have to be a “number” so WHY HAVE I BEEN TYING MY REWARDS TO A NUMBER?!?!?!?!

THE LIGHT BULB GOES ON!!!!

It was really a “D'oh!” moment for me when I realized this.

So I talked to Aaron about it and we worked out a New "Weight-Free" Motivational Rewards System! I just need to stay consistent to my healthy lifestyle for two weeks (14 days straight) and I will get a reward! Simple as that!

With this new system, I'll be watching "Ai Yori Aoshi." Before the 4th of July!!! YATTA!

I guess I should clarify what "stay consistent to my healthy lifestyle" is!

It's simply:
Eat between 1600 - 2000 calories a day.
Be active 3-4 days a week.

I will track this in my daily food log. Aaron will then verify my success, and order my chosen reward.

I really feel that the monkey is off my back now that my reward system actually matches my goal!

o/~ I can see clearly now the rain has gone! o/~

I'm ready for a some bright sun-shiny days!

-Jess :)

Back to 142.50 after the bloat goes away.

I filed today's entry under weight loss frustration because I am so sick of going up and down due to fluid retention. *SIGH*

Today for exercise I played in (and walked to and from) an hour long kickball game! Total calories consumed today, 1690.

I am hopeful that this sizzling weekend will leave me this weight or less by Monday. Time will tell.

Best wishes -

Jess

Weight climbs up to 144.50 as I heal...

My weight was 144.50 this morning. I am feeling much better physically, and I am trying to bounce back mentally. Being up to 144.50 again... argh.

Aaron thinks that most of this weight is just puff from salty foods. He is usually right, and that it melts away quickly.

I was so close to 140 just a week ago... But I ask myself would I rather be a "number" (140) or would I rather feel healthy. The answer is easy, I want to be healthy!

I did some light exercises today. I walked a lap around the block (about 1.25 miles) and rode the stationary bike for just about 7 miles.

My calories for today were 1600.