As perfect as Aaron is, there was one thing on which we disagreed...
To simplify it for a blog post: Aaron hates Wisconsin.
He wants to live in a large urban area with lots of culture and good public transit system.
He wants our kids to have opportunities to pursue their interests with a world class instructors.
These are things you can't find in small town in rural Wisconsin, and Aaron refused to start a family here. He even said that he would resent having kids here because they would "trap" him in Wisconsin.
So after years of arguing, soul searching and reaching our early 30s childless, I had an epiphany.
Just like when I realized that being fat and being me were not the same thing;
I realized that I don't have to live my life less than 25 miles from where I was born.
When I thought about it - it didn't matter to me WHERE we lived as long as we soon start our family.
My stubborness to stay in Wisconsin was preventing our own family from being born!
I shared this with Aaron, and soon he had a one-way ticket to San Francisco.
Aaron left last Saturday.
After being married for nearly nine years, I've found living alone hard. I have been keeping myself very busy so I don't have time to freak out about it. When I get stressed - it's like another person takes over my body and tries to make me eat really bad things. I stopped two "attacks" the Sunday after Aaron left.
"Crazy Jess" would start making a bowl of frosting or batter, and I would then stop "her."
I reminded myself that this is an unhealthy coping mechanism, and I should call a friend or workout. I then threw out all my trigger foods: chocolate chips, sugar, and cocoa powder. I have been okay since. :)
Aaron is staying with friends and is on the job hunt. He has some interviews, and is applying at IT temp agencies. (He is a computer programmer.) Once he has a job, he will find a place to rent.
Our lease here in Madison, WI is up at the end of September, so if he doesn't find a job and a place by then, we move to "Plan B."
Our future is really up in the air right now!
I am slimming down our belongings for a cross country move into a much smaller appartment.