Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Am I in a Romantic Comedy?

Are there hidden cameras following me around? Because I swear the last few days have feel like I am in a Romantic Comedy. This could be a movie.

Last week Aaron picked up a CD with subliminal messages to make him more the “Casanova / Don Juan” type. He has listened to it in his sleep and while at work the last few days.

Aaron is now so romantic and so perfect with what he says, I feel all giggly and loved to bits!!! But here is the snag…

Now he insists that he is my lover, not my husband, and that we are “cheating on my husband.” But he is my husband… and when I say that he gets huffy and says, “I’m nothing like that ******* who would let his woman be sweep off her feet away from him.” This is shocking because Aaron never used to swear.

“Lover Aaron” has bought me a beautiful Orchid and taken me out on “dates.” We must really look like a puppy-love dating couple because we are asked at the end if we want separate checks.

Aaron then says: “I’m old-fashioned and would like to pay for everything.” I think to myself… “But we have a joint account!”

Last night really took the cake.

Aaron and I carpool. He drops me off at my work on the way to his. At the end of the day he also picks me up to go home.

In the rush to get to work on the Monday after the “spring ahead” time change, I did not have time to shower and forgot my keys.

Aaron then says that after work he will draw me a bubble bath and wash my back.  So after a full day of work and I am thinking about getting home and getting clean!

I send Aaron a text around 5:45 PM asking when he will be arriving.

At 6:00 PM he replies: I am shopping.

I remind him that we need butter.

At 6:13 he replies: I knew I forgot something!

So I figure he is on the way and head down to the lobby of my office building and play Angry Birds on my Droid X to kill time.

6:57 PM
I call Aaron to ask if he will be there soon. 
He says that he is on his way there.

7:43 PM
I send him a text saying: If I knew you were going to be this late I would have looked harder for my keys… starving. :-(

7:53 PM
I call his cell with no answer.

7:54 PM
Aaron calls me to say he is on his way and we will do dinner at Maggiano's.

8:15 PM
Aaron finally arrives at my work and we head to the restaurant.

We get there and seated by about 8:25. We were given as basket of warm bread, but no olive-oil to dip the bread in. We didn’t get any drinks either.

I am very hungry but don't want to load up on bread… especially dry bread with no lubrication or beverage to wash it down!

Eventually we got some service and it was nearly 10:00 when we finally got home.

I wasn’t sure if we were going to do the “bath thing” but Aaron starts “setting up.”  I ask if he needs any help or should I let it be a surprise?

He says he wants to surprise me, so I grab a book and wait in the living room.


Aaron comes into the living room to announce: We are out of hot water and the tub still isn’t full.

Having taken lots of baths before I ask are you sure you pushed the plug down into the drain? He says, yeah… but then I hear him go back into the bathroom and the distinctive Click-POP of the drain followed by a “Oh.”

I am ready to just “throw in the towel” on this whole romantic bath thing, but Aaron is trying SO HARD to make it work.

He starts microwaving water and carrying it into the bath!

Having lost all patience I follow him to the bath spot a small bag from Bath and Body Works on the floor. There are small candle jars burning on 3 of the 4 corners or the tub. Not only is the fragrance wonderful and inviting, but they also MATCH the towels and shower curtain -- amazing. The candles had been burning for at least an hour now and they had filled the air with a wonder relaxing fragrance.

In the bath itself he had selected the bubble bath called “Dark Kiss” and had sprinkled the bubbles with the petals of a dozen dark pink roses!

Everything was perfect, except the water was ICE COLD.

Aaron continued to carry boiling hot water in one microwave-safe bowl at a time, but the water barely got warmer than a pool.

By 11:30 I thought, "Temperature be damned I'm getting into that bath!"

So I step into the tub and let my feet get used to the temp. Aaron asks, “Is it warm enough?”

“Warm enough for me!” I smile and sit down into the tepid tub.   Every submerged skin cell in my body screams: “ARE YOU INSANE!?! THIS WATER IS COLD!!!!”

I rebuke myself. “You will get used to it… like swimming in a cool pool or lake!”

Aaron smiles at me in the tub and goes into “Phase Two.”

(Who knew he had more planned?!)

He brings in fresh strawberries and a bottle of Pinot Grigio!

Here "Lover Aaron" surprises me by having wine too.  What?  Aaron NEVER drank before ever.... What the hell!?  He says it goes great with the strawberries, and he is right.  The combo is totally delectable!
At this point I am certain the water heater has had enough time to recuperate. I drain out about 4 inches of the cold water then resealed the drain. Adding a few more squirts of “Dark Kiss”, I take a deep breath and crank the dial all the way to hot. It was a gamble but within seconds I was rewarded with scalding hot water!

At last, the bubble bath achieved the perfect sensuous temperature! Bliss!

It was about 1 AM before I was toweled off and got to bed… but it was wonderful if you don't count Aaron getting lost, being 3 hours late to get me from work, slow service at the restuarant, and then using up ALL the hot water trying to fill a bath with the drain un plugged --  It was wonderful.

I am not sure how long "Lover Aaron" will be around, but he's amusing as hell to have around.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

No Smiley

I got the Clearblue Easy Digital Ovulation Test but never got a smiley face. 

Rather than think the product is a piece of junk, I worry that my body just wasn't ovulating.  

I have my period every 28 days, so I am the text book example of menstration -- Linked to the Moon's cycles.  Full Moon = Period   New Moon = Ovulation

But I also have PMDD -- Pre-menstral disphoric disorder -- so my hormones take me for a hell of a ride.. but it is a consistant ride!

I am on 23 of this cycle and I am feeling all PMS-y and not preggers.
(Even though we never got a smiley face, it doesn't hurt to practice -- right?)

I take vitamins and drink orange juice for the folic acid.

An ultrasound of my lady parts said nothing looks out of place.. so come-on ovaries, start releasing eggs!