Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Over time the emails grew into a webpage, and then the webpage into a Blog. (Thanks to a suggestion by Lynn) Soon more than my family and friends were finding my site and reading about my progress.
Eventually I moved my whole site over to Blogger because I got so sick of my visitors being spammed with ads and pop-ups on my old site.
Anyway, I found a copy of the first e-mail I ever sent out! This email is what lead to the creation of this site. I though I'd share it!
Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2003 4:38 PM
Subject: Feeling AWESOME!
Today's been a great day for me, and I felt like writing to my family and friends to celebrate!
What makes today so wonderful for me?
Well, as some of you already know, I have been slowly losing weight over the past 8 months. Last week I reached -30 pounds from my start weight!
I reward myself for every ten pounds lost by getting a new DVD, or Book.
This time I chose the 1st DVD from the Seventh Season of Ranma 1/2. (MY FAVORITE ANIME!) It arrived in the mail today, and I am just ecstatic!
I actually weigh less than the weight on my drivers licence! (I am not sure if you guys understand how amazing that is! ;)
I will have to get some current pictures up on my web page for a little Before/After action...
I don't have a "goal weight" set or anything. I have just started living healthier. The only "goal" that I have is for my butt to fit better in the seat of the plane when Aaron and I go to San Fransisco this Summer! I had awful experiences on planes in the past with my hips barely fitting in between the arm rests, and the seat-buckle painful to buckle.... Argh!
That is my one simple goal...
I hope you are all doing well.
Please write me back and let me know how you are! :)
So there it is! That's the e-mail that started my weight loss website back in 2003. I never intended to lose weight publicly, but it just sorta happened. I am glad it did though! :)
Thursday, August 24, 2006
So far I have added about 3 pounds of Kummerspeck. His death happened right at the end of my period... so I never really recovered from that monthly weight spike when the grief-eating started. *Sigh* I've been sticking with my exercise, but not counting my calories that well. I'll get through this and get back on the healthy wagon... in a while.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
When I was a child, Uncle Dave was a superhero to me. He was a real cop, and a fire fighter! He was truly a brave man that saved many, many lives. I’m still kinda in the numb disbelief phase of grieving. I know it will hit me hard tonight.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
In my own tips section I basically say "don't do the sugar free thing." But this weekend I suddenly realized that I have been eating a lot of Aspartame. (Nutra-Sweet / Equal) I think it has been affecting me.
There have also been studies that show artificial sweeteners screw up the body's natural ability to know when you are satisfied, thus crippling weight loss efforts.
So today I have gone "Cold Turkey." We threw out all the stuff that contained Aspartame, or the "Phenylalanine Warning," then bought replacement products. The stuff with real sugar have like 20 to 70 calories more per serving. The odd thing was, even though they had more calories, I actually ate less calories. This was because I felt satisfied much longer. So I did not need to eat as frequently. I also didn't have any intense cravings today. Which is great because lately I've been feeling like the Ravenous Bugbladder Beast of Traal. (For those of you who know where your towel is.)
I think I'm off to a good start! Aaron wants me to take some time to "detoxify." So I am going to be eating simple unprocessed foods for a while. My daily calories are also changing to a more "maintenance mode" level, instead of a weight loss amount. (Although, websites suggest that I'll lose some weight just by freeing myself from the chemicals. )
Time to hit the sack!
Friday, August 18, 2006
Today my team at work went out for lunch. I was worried about it because we went to "Old Chicago" which is a pizza place. Everyone ordered a personal pizza or split a big "Triple-decker-roni." I ordered a grilled chicken breast caeser salad with the dressing on the side. I was so worried thinking that I'd have to eat something high in calories, but it turned out okay! I estimate I ate about 1700 calories today, another Good day!
Now I get to try to be "good" through the weekend!!!!! Yea!
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
I was barely back to sleep when the alarm went off at 5:30. I slept in for a bit, but then Aaron said I needed to get up if I wanted to make my bus. So I started to get ready and then discovered that the gallon of water that I refill and take in to work each day... well I left it at work, so I didn't have any water to drink at work except for the tap water there. You can actually see the junk floating in your water. It also makes my throat feel nasty. So I did not get to drink as much water as I normally do.
It was UBERSTRESS deadline day at work, and the system went down for HOURS. Then they'd get it back up limping again, just to have it go BOOM. It's so Frustrating!!!! Then the only thing I had left to do... the Developer (Coder) decides to "redo" some of it... so all my previous work is nullified. But then I am thinking, well I am good then! I have nothing left to do! I AM DONE!
WRONG. One of my co-workers quickly gives me two of her logs, PLUS I get 2 more "They needed it yesterday" Customer retrofits! I logged 10 hours of work today, then I called home and begged Aaron to PLEASE COME AND GET ME. (My handsome knight to the rescue!) Now I am Home... I am HOME!!
Today is a Rest Day. I was puffed up to 141 this morning, (That's 2 pounds of period puff) and ate 1680 calories. That means today was actually a "GOOD" day! HA! It's actually quite remarkable that I was able to make today a good day even under all that stress & my period!!!
Days like this in the past, I'd eat a constant stream of M&M's or Hershey's kisses. But today I was careful. I snacked a lot, but on things like Light Yogurt with 1/2 c. Fiber One, a Chocolate - South Beach Diet Cereal Bar, or a 1/4 c. of Almonds.
I need to get to sleep now. Tomorrow has GOT to be better! :)
Sunday, August 13, 2006
1.) I HATE CARROTS!!!
Even though I often eat vegetarian, and live a healthy lifestyle... I can't stand carrots. Only if they are chopped up into super tiny undetectable pieces can I eat them, like in a veggie burger.
2.) I HATE PEACOCKS!!!
They are so damn LOUD and they sound like someone screaming for help. I used to live with my Aunt and Uncle and they had FOUR peacocks (and some peahens for them to cock off to). I was going to college full time while also working full time, 2nd shift, in a Community Based Residential Facility for elderly adults with mental disabilities or Alzheimer's disease. It was so stressful. When I'd get home late, and want to sleep, but those damn Peacocks would start screaming at the crack of dawn. When ever I see peacock feathers I think, "I HATE PEACOCKS!!!"
3.) I MET MY HUSBAND AT A LIVE-ACTION ROLE PLAYING GAME OF VAMPIRE THE MASQUERADE!!!
You know the stereotypical nerd that plays D&D? Well about 1 out of 10 or so of those extra geeky nerds is a girl! Most gaming groups have the "token-chick gamer" and most groups feel that they need one gamer-girl in the group to bring balance to the force. Aaron and I were just friends for nearly 5 years before we started dating. After we started dating we were married 4 months later. It was funny because some people didn't realize that Aaron and I had a 5 year relationship beforehand. (I was Clan Tremere and he was Toreador)
4.) I LOVE "HAREM ANIME"
I love anime that is like one guy and one girl, but then there is a complication in their relationship, and that usually results in lots of other women co-habitating or getting involved. It leads to very funny situations and I just love it! :)
5.) I TAKE PUBLIC TRANSIT TO WORK!!!
I catch the West-Bound 18 around 6:45AM, then transfer to the 62. I ride until I reach the corner of Minneral Point and Gammon Road, then walk to my building from there. I get in around 7:15 most days. I work until 4 then do it all in reverse to get home around 4:45. :) The City of Madison is "revamping" the bus system starting the 27th this month. It may increase my walking, but could shorten my commute!
Saturday, August 12, 2006
What a colossal waste of calories!! What was I thinking? I should of just had chocolate. *Sigh* It was a super spike in my blood sugar and made me feel even hungrier later... which totally sucked.
I was 139.25 this morning and it was a rest day.
Total calories today were 1700.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
I kept thinking do I really want to "blow" 290 calories on only a half a cup of ice cream?
It's only a half a cup! Then I realized that my favorite "treat" is 270 calories and even smaller than half a cup! (2 TBSP of Natural Peanut Butter with 22 Ghirardelli Milk Chocolate Chips)
So I had the ice cream and it was blissful! I haven't had ice cream in a long while, and half a cup was a surprisingly satisfying amount!
My calories today were 1700 on the button, and I was pretty active today too. I got up and biked for 50 calories in 30 minutes. I also walked a lot, and not just the usual to-and-from the stupidly laid out bus stops. I walked to and from the eye doctor today which was an additional 2.6 miles!
I was 139.00 this morning - my lowest adult weight ever! Hopefully tomorrow I will be this weight again or less. ;)
Wednesday, August 9, 2006
It seems they’ve contacted me about the show topic: “I dropped pounds, and my Lover/Friends/Family Dropped Me!” Mmm, I don’t think I meet that criteria. No one has “dropped” me because I’ve lost weight.
I recently wrote about how Aaron and I are just as lovey-dovey as ever! One of my friends sometimes makes snarky comments about my new size, but we haven’t ended our friendship over it. And my family is very proud of me... although, my Mom is ALWAYS trying to get me to eat! It is so complicated with Mom for a number of reasons:
- She seems to think that “Food is Love.” If you eat the food she makes, then you love her. When I say “No thanks,” it really seems to upset her.
- The bad eating habits mom taught me as a child are what made me obese to begin with!
- My little sister, Samantha, is being raised the same way. She will turn 8 in September, yet already weighs 125 pounds!!! That’s less than 15 pounds away from what I currently weigh! It really upsets me that she’s raising another daughter who will have to deal with the psychological trauma of being “The FAT KID.” I’ve talked to mom about my concern for Sammy, but I feel so powerless to help the ones closest to me with their weight and food struggles.
- Mom used to be big like me, but got bariatric bypass surgery in Feb. 2004. She got skinny fast, but never learned how to be healthy. Now she’s freaking out because she is starting to regain weight. She has asked for my help, and I give it to her… but I don’t know if she can change. I can’t make her be healthy… she needs to learn to do that herself.
- I also think she is upset that I weigh less than her now, and I didn’t have to reroute my digestive track to do so!
*SIGH* I was so excited, thinking that I’d get to share my weight loss success story on T.V.... But I don’t think I have enough “relationship baggage” for them to want me. Oh well, I didn’t need those “10 extra pounds” the camera adds anyway! ;)
If I ever get on television, I want to tell people they don’t have to starve, or get cut apart, to lose what may seem like an impossible amount of weight. I want to inspire people to know that massive weight loss is achievable naturally if you are truly dedicated to getting healthy!!!
It’s not about getting skinny, being a size X, or weighing a certain number. You just have to focus on what is good for you, and really work at it! It’s not easy, and it takes a long time, but it is doable! You don’t have to be perfect; you just need to be dedicated!!!
As long as you keep working towards being healthy, even if you have bad days along the way, you will eventually get healthy!!! That is my message, simple but true. It just something this instant-gratification world doesn’t want you to hear. They’d rather take our money, encouraging us to over-consume, then take even more of our money offering us drugs and miracle products to “restore our health.” This culture is criminal.
Monday, August 7, 2006
Sounds right up my alley! They want to do a show about the ups and downs of weight loss and how weight change affects personal relationships. While researching that topic they found my blog, and asked me to contact them if I was interested in sharing my story. (You bet I do!!)
I wonder if I will actually get to be on the show? What do you think? :)
Saturday, August 5, 2006
Aaron will also earn his Reward.
When we changed my Rewards System from being tied to my weight, to just "living healthy 15 days in a row," I suggested when I reach those old 5 pound increment goal weights that Aaron should get a reward!
He totally deserves rewards too because I could never have done this without him! His loving support and gentle encouragement has really kept me going all these years. He always keeps me safe, even when I don't want to be! ;) ("But I NEED chocolate!!!" "You are out of calories for today. You can have some tomorrow.") He also helps me get out of bed on days when I don't want to get up and workout. He just has this way of making me want to be my best. :) I know I am not perfect, but for him I want to be! :) And he loves me as I am, no matter what I look like. :)
I have actually been asked if my husband "loves me more" now that I am healthy! I couldn't help but laugh! I then assured the asker that Aaron doesn't love me any more or less now that I am healthy, although we have loved eachother longer now! We'll be celebrating 6 years of perpetual bliss coming up on the 29th this month! :) I am so excited! :)
Well I better get some more stuff done on my "To-do" list.
Friday, August 4, 2006
Things were not looking good, so I emailed Aaron for support!!!
I’m worried about the lunch today.
You can be okay. Do your best. :)
I don’t know if try is the word. Just do your best, and we’ll see how good that is. Do or do not. There is no try.
Next thing I know it’s time for the picnic.
Here is what I had at the picnic and my estimated calories:
Which took my daily total to 1360. That’s 350 calories more than my average post lunch calorie total, but it’s not that bad! I’ve had far worse days! Like Saturday July 15th, where I had to cut myself off after lunch because I was already at 1970 calories! (We went out for lunch at a Pizza place and got dessert…) The Saturday after that was also bad. I ate a whole box of Stovetop stuffing for lunch, leaving me with half a sandwich and some instant oatmeal for supper.
2 Tbsp Hummus.......200
Half a Pita..........90
I eat so stupid on the weekend! But even when I am being dumb, I stick to my calorie budget! I should really plan my meals/calories in advance! When I have a plan I stick too it, and that which would really help me from the weekend! On workdays I am so “good.” I know what I am eating, and when. But on the weekends there is no structure, and I end up eating 600 calories junk, then and have get through the rest of the day on just 1000 calories, which is doable, just not enjoyable. :P
Have a good weekend!
Thursday, August 3, 2006
Things are so much different now that I am not fat. The other day I was at a busy restaurant sitting at a small table in the middle of the lunch rush. I got up for some chopsticks, and was able to weave my way past all the crowded tables without bumping into someone with my hips or having to uncomfortably ask someone to scoot-in, or move their chair so I could get through. After I got the chopsticks I felt so excited and proud! This is something that most “normal-sized” person wouldn’t even notice, or even think twice about. But to me it was an amazing accomplishment!! I was so thrilled! I never would have been able to do that in my old body.
Another thing that is strange now that I am “thin” is the size of portions some people offer me. They seem to want me to overeat and make me fat again. It’s like some sort of passive aggressive attack, perhaps out of jealously of my success? I’m not sure if people are doing this on purpose... but when I was bigger, people offered me less food. Like they were thinking "Oh, you are big so you should not eat so much."
The weirdest thing that has been happening lately is random men suddenly talking to me. Strangers never talked to me like this when I was fat. I believe they are hitting on me, but again this is a pretty new thing for me. Shouldn't my Wedding Ring be like garlic to vampires to these "playas?" Or are they too busy checking me out to notice I'm wearing a ring? (Song my Husband made-up:"You are so hot! Sizzle Sizzle Mrs. Scott!)
Checking for a ring should be step TWO when checking someone out.
Step one - check out hottie.
Step two - check for ring on left ring finger.
Step three - hit on hottie, ONLY IF THE RESULT OF STEP TWO IS NULL.
Okay maybe that is a tad too logical. Most guys prefer to leap right into “Hey baby, what’s your name? Wanna hang?” approach. Gee!! How can I refuse a SMOOTH line like that?! Oh wait. I know! I am a happily married to someone else! :)
Today was another sucessful day for living healthy. Day 10!
It's almost the Weekend!!!! Yea!
Tuesday, August 1, 2006
I can really feel the composition of my body changing! It's like my fat's a slowly receding glacier, first from off my face, then my chest, and now it's slowly working off my belly. My thighs will be the last place place to change, and even if it takes a few more years to get there.
I am commited to being healthy, not just to lose weight, but as the way I live my life now! :)