I look like my profile again! :)

This is just a quick update with some pictures showing how my hair has grown back in the past 2 months.


October 2006 hair cut


Hair Growth since Halloween 2006


HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!

Christmas Cramps!

Right on schedule, my period started on Christmas. What a great "present," Christmas Cramps!

But even with my period, and after celebrating Christmas with my in-laws and my family, I was 144 this morning! YEAH!!!

I've had 1620 calories today and now need to get my butt on the bike!

I hope you all had a great Christmas!

Jess

o/~ It's the most fattening time of the year o/~

This Christmas music spoof made me giggle so much I had to find it to share!

56K Stream

128K Stream
Some of the lyrics are just hysterical!

I have been eating well and exercising consistently the last couple of weeks! I've completely recovered from my Thanksgiving weight gain! In fact, I weigh a pound less today than I did on Thanksgiving! Yea!! It feels so wonderful "bucking the trend" by losing weight over the Holidays! It's not easy, but if it were easy... everyone would do it. ;)

I have been surfing the web for articles on how to avoid holiday pounds, but all their "advice" is no brain'er stuff to me. Eat raw veggies, be active, yada-yada-yada... We know it!

But then I snuck over to the Men's Health pages where I got some new ideas!

There were articles like

"How to approach weight loss with your wife or girlfriend without getting slapped"

"Eight Reasons You're Still Fat"

"Power 12 Foods: Never Go Hungry"

I liked the writing style they used to address a male audience. The over all tone of the articles were like "Get off your lazy ass and start getting healthy!" I liked it more than the "maybe you should eat more vegetables" approach, but that's just my preference. ;)

Cheers!

Jess

How Time Flies!

Wow, the days are just FLYING by! 2006 will be over in the blink of an eye!

Soon many people will make the classic New Year's Resolution to "Lose Weight." Sadly, most will "give up" by Valentine's Day (and blame the chocolates!).

The real goal to make for 2007 is to just "Live Healthier." (And NEVER give up Chocolate!!!)

Only focusing on your weight is stressful! And being stressed makes most of us turn to high-calorie "comfort foods." These foods often make getting on the scale the next time even MORE stressful! NOT GOOD!!! You have to break FREE from that cycle!!!

Try making a few healthy changes instead, like...

• Drink more water!
• Switch to whole grain wheat products for bread and pastas.
• Stop eating deep fried foods.
• Start keeping a food journal.
• Be more Active.
• If you are already active, add 10 more minutes to your workout.
• Start weight training.

I list many more ways to sneak healthiness into your life on my tips page.

Remember, as long as you continue to live healthy, eventually you will be healthy!

Cheers!

Jess

Would you like some broccoli with your salt?

Last night Aaron and I went out for supper. I ordered a chicken breast and some "steamed broccoli." Safe right?

Well... the broccoli tasted like it had been soaked in a brine for weeks, then boiled in salt water, then topped with extra salt to make sure it killed any offending vegetable-ness it may of have had left.

Salty food makes me puff up like a blowfish, so needless to say I was up 2.5 pounds this morning. This was extra frustrating since I had just got back to my Pre-Thanksgiving weight the day before...

Oh well! I'll get over it soon! I am drinking LOTS of water and I ate 1700 calories today. I also biked! :)

Tomorrow night I am going over to my mom's to help with Christmas baking. :) I should be safe. Saturday is the Family Christmas with my Mom's Side... I am supposed to make a dish to pass... I still have no ideas on what to bring... EEK!

I might just grab one of those veggie or fruit trays on my way there! :)

Cheers!

Jess

Think Happy Thoughts!

Oh man! When it rains it pours… and then it freezes and covers everything in a deadly layer of hazardous ice! Argh!

Just when I started recovering from Thanksgiving, my monthly pimple and crazy cravings flare up! I am up 2.5 pounds since last week which, wait… THAT TOTALLY RULES!!!

Today is Thursday! And last Thursday was Thanksgiving itself! I’ve made it through THREE huge feasts, plus the onset of my period and only gained 2.5 pounds! Woo hoo!

Okay, maybe it is a little weird cheering about gaining 2.5 pounds, but seriously, this past week was down right brutal!!!

Hopefully by next Thursday I will be back to my “Pre-Thanksgiving” weight of 145.50! I’ve been keeping up with my exercise, and my calories have been really good today! Then I’ll work on getting back to Pre-Aspartame Detoxification low of 139...

I should pick out some great rewards to work towards those goals! It’s been a while since I bribed myself decently! I better get to it!

Cheers!

Jess

Thanksgiving Flop.

Did I mention that I had THREE Thanksgivings to go to this year? One at my Aunt Linda's (Dad's side), the second at my Mom's and then Thanksgiving with my husband's family.

I did really well at two of the three, but the other one went really bad...

I was cajoled by my mom and sister into having a large glass of wine. I drink very rarely and at my size the booze hit me like a ton of bricks. Next thing I know my glass is refilled, and mom's offering me this HUGE slice of cheesecake! I am sure I would have had the will to resist if I wasn't intoxicated by that point. *Sigh*

When I fall off the wagon it takes me a day or so to get myself out of the ditch. It is so hard to get back to being healthy when part of you wants to eat everything containing chocolate in your house...

So how do I get myself back on track after a weight loss blow-out like this?

Well... I start keeping my food journal again. When I mess up I stop writing down what I eat. I don't like recording my failure, but then I don't know how many calories I've ate! Then I just keep eating poorly.

I carefully plan my meals and get back to writing everything down again. here is what I had today:

Oatmeal	140
Banana	160
Yogurt	80
1/2 c. All Bran	80
Amy's Meal	240
4 Dove Chocolates	180
Pasta	250
Boca Crumbles	60
Pasta Sauce	100
Mushrooms	20
Cheese	20
Ice Cream	200
Hot Fudge	100
Redi Whip	70
TOTAL:	1700

Tomorrow I will have about the same calories. As long as I continue to live healthy, even with "bad days," I will eventually be healthy!

Making it through tomorrow...

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving - a Holiday that has become synonymous with Food, Family and Football.

Thanksgiving can be a very stressful holiday for those trying to lose weight. The combination of lots of “Only Once a Year” foods, and peer pressure from the family may lead to poor food choices and over consumption. :(

Many weight loss experts agree that losing weight during the holidays (Thanksgiving to New Year's) is nearly impossible.
They instead encourage a strategy to just maintain your weight over these difficult times.

So, take your weight Thanksgiving morning, and if you are that weight or less come January 2nd, YOU ARE A SUCCESS!!!

Last year I was able to maintain my weight through the Holidays. This year I hope to defy the experts and keep on losing through New Years!

Here are some tips to help you keep from Gobble-Gobbling too much tomorrow!

Weight Loss Holiday Survival Guide:

1. Don't arrive starving.
Eat before the big feast. Try a low calorie healthful meal with lots of fiber, protein, and “good fats” to keep you feeling full until dinner. I plan to eat an omelet made with 1 whole egg and 1 egg white, filled with spinach and mushrooms, cooked in olive oil, served with a zero calorie hot sauce and a piece of whole grain toast or maybe a small serving of old fashioned oatmeal sweetened with Splenda. That whole meal will leave me feeling full for hours, and only has about 350 calories.

2. Make time for exercise every day, especially on Thanksgiving Day.
Thanksgiving can be stressful, but don’t work yourself up, just workout! Get up early and do your normal workout routine, or start a new family tradition of taking a nice walk after the feast!

3. Plan your meal in advance.
You know what foods will be at Thanksgiving: Turkey, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie… they’re a given! So make a plan in advance of what you will eat and stick to it! Allow yourself to indulge, but not pig out. Take larger portions of raw or steamed veggies and skinless white meat turkey. Enjoy higher-calorie foods (like gravy) in smaller portions. If you think you can skip it all together, without feeling deprived, more power to you! You may feel pressured by family to eat more, but you’ll be safe as long as you stick to your plan! You can eat what you like, just less of it!

4. Keep a food journal and write down everything that you eat.
Even on Thanksgiving you should still keep a record of everything you ate. A Food journal is an incredibly powerful tool, especially when you are tempted to overeat!

5. Do not eat food just because it is there.
Distance yourself from the hors d'oeuvre table, and save your calories for the foods you love. Munch on fresh fruits and naked veggies instead of high fat appetizers.

6. Do not eat “Second Helpings.”
The average American consumes 3,500 calories during their Thanksgiving feast. This is not something you’d want to repeat!!!

7. Eat slowly and savor every bite.
Give the food a chance to let you feel the satisfying feeling of fullness.

8. Enjoy a small serving of dessert.
Choose pumpkin over pecan pie and save a few hundred calories. Also, just eat the filling (no crust) to take in fewer additional calories and limit trans fats.

9. Stay Hydrated!
Make water your beverage of choice at Thanksgiving. Avoid eggnog at all cost! Water helps you feel full quicker, and helps you keep from over-eating. You can have one alcoholic drink, but Booze + Diet never equals a result you want. Only have one glass of wine.

10. Focus on the family.
Think about what you are really thankful for. Spend time catching up with Family and Friends instead of mindlessly gorging yourself! Remember, it is difficult (and poor manners) to talk with your mouth full! The more time you spend talking, the less time you will spend eating!

Cheers!

Jess

A day in the life.

Today I ate 1720 calories.

Oil - 50
Egg - 70
Cheese Single - 50
1 cup Chocolate Soy Milk - 150
1/4 c. Mixed Nuts - 200
Chicken Wrap with Blue Cheese Dressing - 260
1 Medium Granny Smith Apple - 80
3 Milk Chocolate Dove Promises - 135
1 French Vanilla Creamer - 45
6 Frosted Aminal Crackers - 140
1/2 c. Rice - 150
Chicken - 90
Mixed Veggies with Sauce - 180
Pinwheel Cookie - 120
============================
Total Calories 1720

Now I will be hoping on the Bike to watch some Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K) DVDs!!! If you were really into MST3K, you should check out riff-trax!

Cheers!

Jess

Too White and Nerdy

I took an online quiz today and it confirmed what I already knew to be true.
I'm just Too White and Nerdy.

Modern, Cool Nerd
82 % Nerd, 73% Geek, 26% Dork

TAKE THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST
I ate 1820 calories today, and I am recovering nicely from my monthly biological weight loss sabotage.

I also got up early and did yoga today! I was able to do all the poses on my yoga DVD without the blocks!!! I am sure I will feel it tomorrow. That "good" hurt that lets you know you did a good job and are building brand new, fat burning muscles!

This Yoga DVD is the DVD that helped me become active. I still get a nice workout from it 4 years later! Why does it still work after all these years? That's because it has different 4 instructors! Each demonstrates a level of yoga proficiency - Fully Modified Yoga, 1/2 modified, 1/4 modified, and Full Yoga. You just follow the instructor that fits your level. As you progress you switch to another one! :) It's great! :)

In the beginning, I couldn't even REACH the yoga blocks!! I had to use folding chairs to do an even more modified than fully modified yoga. Soon I became more flexible, and my weight continued to drop!

I'm going to head to bed!

Cheers!

Jess

Trick of the “Lite”

Argh! I fell for the old "Trick of the Lite.”

That’s when you end up eating lots of “fake” treats, trying to satisfy your cravings with “healthy alternatives.” But you just end up eating way more calories of lite junk trying to satisfy your craving than you would have just having a small portion of what you really wanted in the first place!

*Sigh*

Real treats are so much more satisfying to me, even if they are in tiny doses. My body can really tell when it gets the "good stuff." (Which most people trying losing weight call the "bad stuff.") Sheesh!!! I even say "Eat Real Treats" twice in My Weight Loss Tips Section!!!

4. Try to Limit Sweets.

Please note, I did not say cut them out! Natural Sugar is the safest sweet, and it is a beautiful simple carbohydrate for your body to create energy from! Don't get sugar-free or "lite" treats. (Unless you are diabetic...) A TREAT should be a REAL treat!

AND

28. Go for Quality Over Quantity.

Honestly, who wants one cup of "LITE" frozen lime sherbet for 100 calories, when you can have ½ a cup of Triple Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice Cream for 300? Yeah, it is half the amount, and three times the calories... but it's a MILLION times the pleasure!! Remember - some calories are just worth it!

• Note: This tip assumes you would prefer the chocolate ice cream over lime sherbet. If you prefer the lime sherbet, more power to you! :)

Aaron was the one who dragged me back to my senses. He basically said, "Jess, you need REAL treats. You would not be eating so much "fake stuff" if you just had some of the real thing!" He then took me to the store where we bought individually wrapped chocolates for REAL treats that won't break the calorie bank! (65 Calories each for Ghirardelli Chocolate Squares. *drools*)

I love Aaron so much. ;) He is so smart! :) Life is better with Chocolate. :) REAL Chocolate!

Period Puff and more Halloween pics.

I was 144.75 this morning. Thanks Period. Stupid body.

I am doing okay though, and looking forward to the weekend!!! :)

Here are some more pictures from Halloween.

My sister and her Hubbie were "Smokey and the Bandit." Becky was the Jackie Gleason character Beauford T. Justice. Lydel was an amazing accurate (almost spooky) Burt Reynolds as "The Bandit."

FUN FACT: Smokey and the Bandit was the #2 movie of 1978, after Star Wars.



Here is a picture of Becky, Jessica Starks as a Pirate (YAR!) and me in the Wonder Woman costume.

I guess Becky and I are still stuck in the Late 1970's...



I'll write more later!

Jess

Just My Luck...

October is Breast Cancer awearness month so to promote cancer awearness and raise money I agreed to shave my head for this great cause.

Everyone at work was like:

"WOW! You have NO HAIR!"
"You look so COOL!"
"I'm so jealous; I could never get away with that!!"

I also received lots of comments at a Friend's Wedding yesterday:

"I can't believe how feminine you look even without hair!"
"You look so confident!"

I think I look pretty cute too! And Aaron LOVES it.

We were visiting friends last night and Aaron was kissing and "petting" my head. We were then teased that Aaron likes it so much will make me keep my hair buzzed off! ;)

Here's what I look like:


So of course Friday (4 days after buzzing off my hair) I get the e-mail from People that they want to go ahead with my story! (D'oh!) I said that's wonderful... but I'm bald...

They were totally understanding, and said that they'd "keep me on file" for next time. Awesome! I will be even more more toned and healthy by then..and NOT bald! ;)

Cheers!

Jess

2 Pounds Down in October.

Since I am back to my old routine, I thought I would post the results for October! I lost 2 pounds in October! I’m nearly recovered from the weight I gained "falling off the wagon" and from kicking the Aspartame habit.

I know I can safely lose a pound or two each week, and there are 8 weeks left in 2006. I might be able to start the New Year at a new low! :-) Losing weight over the Holiday’s is not impossible… but it is *really* hard to do. Perhaps the Holiday weight loss battle has already begun at your house with a big bag Halloween candy tempting you. (Curse you “FUN SIZE”!!!)

Last year I decided to “tread water” over the Holidays, opting to just try to be the same weight (or less) come January 2nd than what I weighed the day before Thanksgiving. I weighed 147.50 the day before Thanksgiving, 2005. On January 2nd, 2006 I was 144.00! Success!

Today, Nov. 2nd, 2006 I was 143.25. My weight has been about the same for a while now, but my body’s composition has really improved!!! Here are some pictures of me in my Wonder Woman Costume from Last Halloween and This Halloween for comparison!

Pay close attention to my hips/thigh region. Also, my breast did not get bigger (I WISH!) my waist got smaller. ;)



Halloween 2005









Halloween 2006

As my profile states, “I’ve lost it all naturally” by just eating right and exercising!

Over my lunch break the other day I read an article on the MSN Health and Fitness - Diet & Fitness section about “Costly Calories.” It was about the businesses who profit from people trying to lose weight.

With 1/3 of the adults in America falling into the category of “Overweight,” and another 1/3 actually “Obese” that is a large (no pun intended) market they can try to get money from!

In 2004 Americans spent $46 BILLION on diet products and self-help books!!! *FAINT*

But even those who did lose weight via their “skinny schemes,” two thirds (2/3) of them gain it all back in a year once they stop “the program.” And 97% will gain it back with in 5 years! That leaves only a 3% success rate! :-(

There is no "magic bullet" for weight loss. DON'T WASTE YOUR MONEY!!! The only way to really lose weight and keep it off for good is to eat less and move more. Simple words, but it's so hard to do!!! Luckily, things have been going really well for me right now! :)

I hope things are going well for you too!

Best Wishes!

Jess

Not confirmed yet...

I might be in the "weight loss on any budget" section of People's "Half their Size" special issue. But nothing is confirmed yet.

The yoga DVD that started me being active 140 pounds ago is now only 53 cents on Amazon.com!!! My exercise bike in no longer available, but there is one like it by ProForm for about $200.00. I love my bike! At first I was like, why are we spending so much money on a bike! But the truth is, it's not that much at all. It has lasted over 3 years of consistent use. (Less than a dollar a day now) And I think it is much easier on those cold Wisconsin mornings to roll out of bed and on to a bike right in your home than to go out to your car, scrape off the windshield, drive to the place, and get on some piece of equipment still wet from someone else’s sweat... Ick No Thanks! Another reason I've never bought a gym membership...

My set of free weights were a birthday gift from my in-laws and I don't buy any special sorts of foods... so my weight loss has been very economical! :)

We are really on a budget since I am the only one working. (Aaron is a student at UW-Madison.) I think I fit that category really well! :) We'll just have to wait for what their Editors decide. :)

I am going to bike tonight!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I'll be posting pictures soon! :)

Waiting for Monday

I was 143.75 this morning, and I hope to be back under 140 by Thanksgiving. :)

I am feeling really good being back to my old routine. This feels normal to me! Not that "bogus version" of normal I tried... that ballooned me up 12 pounds! (ACK!)

I gave up on living a lie and went back to doing what works, and it feels so much better!!! (Mentally and Physically) Things just work better for me when I keep close tabs on myself.

I am looking forward to parties this weekend! Tonight is a surprise non-birthday party for one of my co-workers. Tomorrow she turns 30, so we are celebrating her last day in the twenties. I'm going to help decorate! It should be fun!

On Saturday I am going to dress up and go out with my sister! We plan to go to the Kroghville Oasis where they are doing a "Host a Murder" party! After that we will bar-hop and check out all the costumes.

I will most likely be in my wonder woman costume because:

a.) More townie bar folks will know who she is
b.) The bald cap is MURDER to get off... and I don't want to try to do it at 3AM!!!

I will be avoiding alcohol at all these events... the hard part is ditching the drinks others get me. I feel so guilty. I say. "No. I am not drinking." 2 minutes later, they hand me a drink!!! ARGH!! I still have lots of fun though. I like being the "responsible one" of the group. Making sure the devil doesn't forget her pitchfork in the bathroom, or remind the cop which hottie she left her handcuffs on. ;)

Aaron and I plan to play the board game RuneBound this weekend too! It's a great role playing like game. We'll be the heroes fighting the Dragons ravaging the land of Terinoth... or how ever it's spelled... anyway if you are a nerd, or used to play D&D but don't have 8 hours to waste (or 4 other people to play with) I highly recommend this game!!! It's really FUN!

Monday is the day that the Editors of People will decide if I'll make the cut for the "Half Their Size" issue. I'm trying to focus on the fun in the present, instead of worrying about outcomes in the future.

I hope you have a happy and safe Weekend!!

Jess

p.s. The Saturday closest to Halloween in Madison, WI always seems to ended in riots, tear gas, and property damage on State Street. I avoid that place like the plague. ;) Townie Bars here I COME!!!

Almost there....

I was 144.00 this morning. :) That's 2 pounds less than what weighed on October 1st!! Although... I am still 5 pounds above where I was August 10th, but I figure I will be back in the 130's soon! :)

Cutting and Carving

I love Halloween. It is my favorite holiday! It's the one day of the year where you get to dress however you want and get away with it!! Another thing I love about Halloween is Carving Pumpkins. Here are some special pumpkins I carved for Mike (Aaron's Brother) and Amy's wedding, Friday October 13th, 2006.

I also got my hair cut!

I Am So Excited!!!

I think this is the most thrilling news I have ever had the pleasure to share on my blog.

Today I was contacted by a reporter from People Magazine as a possible candidate for their special "Half My Size" issue! There is no guarantee that I will be in it, but I'm still very excited to even be considered!

Although... I really hope they pick me! ;) That would be so COOL!!!

**Fingers Crossed**

Jess

p.s. I also update my current pictures page.

Glug, Glug, Glug!!!

After being away from home this weekend, I weighed-in this morning… and it appears that I am sinking rather than swimming. I was 151.50!!! *Faint*

Now, I could make excuses for my increase in weight… blaming my recent period or the wedding I went to this weekend, but it all boils down to me not doing enough. My efforts to be healthy without constant monitoring have obviously been lack luster. In fact, I'd say they've been down right disasterrific! :-O

But instead of getting all drepressed and polishing off the rest if the "break-and-bake" chocolate chip cookies in the fridge, (which is still a very tempting notion...) I went back to the basics.

I got my food journal back out and started keeping tabs on my calories again. I'm also drinking LOTS of water and I plan to do a light bike after I get done blogging.

Back when my weight loss was going strong I would bike nearly every night while watching T.V, mindlessly burning off 100 calories or more! The past few months however, I switched from "T.V. biking" to doing intense 30 minute progams before breakfast for 60-70 calories every other day. The AM biking is great cardio... but you don't need to be a rocket scientist to realize that burning 100 calories lightly bike every night is more benificial than than 60-70 every other day! And it is easier too! ;)

I have mentioned this before but I think it's worth mentioning again: You burn the same number of calories walking a mile as you do running it. The amount of energy it takes to move you a distance will always be the same. The only thing running or jogging does is change it the time it takes to accomplish the task.

Slow and steady wins the race. It's time I get back in the slow lane!!

Jess :)

It's not easy to be "Normal"

I keep catching myself doing "calorie math" in my head. . o O ( 120 for the whole grain wheat bread, plus 60 for the roasted chicken breast lunchmeat...)

I am trying really hard not to do that, but after 4 years of recording every single calorie I ate or drank... it's hard to suddenly stop doing it!

I've been trying to focus on how my body feels instead of “the numbers.” (Calories/Weight) Whenever my minds starts in on a numbers rant, I calmly remind myself, "Normal healthy people DO NOT obsess about every single calorie."

I've never been good at being "Normal" though... I've always been "the weird girl."

But on the bright-side, being this successful at weight loss isn't very normal either! :)

HURRAH FOR US WEIRDOS!!!

Jess

I love this thing!

Wow! Who would have though a little bracelet would make such a difference!

I am wearing a bright red bracelet with the words "I CAN" on the inside of my right wrist. So whenever I'm reaching for the fridge door, holding a yoga pose, or pumping som iron I see the words "I CAN." It makes me feel good and even more focused on my goal! (and it's pretty too!)

I was not able to weigh myself yesterday because we are watching my sister this weekend! I figure I can look on Monday. ;)

My period started Friday, and It feels great not getting depressed about the monthly puff. I know there is some because of how my ring feels, but I am not getting bent out of shape. It's awesome. :)

I think things are going well! :)

Like We Didn’t Already Know This?

There was a recent study that said obese people feel the same way about food as addicts do to drug.

Well, DUH!! They actually spent money to study this?! All they had to do was ask, but I guess they wanted it to be all “scientific.” ;)

I would totally describe some of my food cravings as “Jonesing.” Like no matter what I eat, the hunger doesn’t stop until I’ve had that one thing I’ve been craving. That’s why I’ve always said, just give in! No number of carrots will make your chocolate craving go away. Just get 3 Dove Promises and enjoy!! Take our time and slowly satisfy that craving. Most binges are the result of not giving in, and not giving in… then suddenly the dam breaks and you consume way too much!
Unlike smoking or drinking you can’t quit food “cold-turkey.” So an addictive behavior towards food is really hard to overcome! I still have days when the “dam breaks loose,” but I don’t let myself get swept away from my goal to be healthy. I always get right back on it! :)
Recently I was contacted by Carolyn Allen from MyWeightLossFriend. She is sending me a some of her motivational bracelets! I’m really excited about it! :) They are great motivators and so pretty!

Cheers!

Jess

Saturday's Weigh-in = 145.50!!!

Looks like I am doing a good job of being healthy without constant monitoring! I gained some weight during the stressful user's group meeting, Last Sunday I was up to 149.50!!! UGM was nearly "Maui Bad" to my weight loss... but last years UGM was just a bad too... So I guess UGM is like a Four day extra Stressful Holiday! :) I should plan for it in the future. But anyway, I am finally getting back to "normal" again!!

I've been so lonely today. Aaron is away this weekend to a "3-Day Gaming/Bachelor Party." (He left Friday night at 5.) And this morning's Tai Chi class was canceled or something, because no one was there. :(

The only human interaction I had today was with Millie. She's a little old lady who lives down the hall and stops by about once a week to have me balance her checkbook. She likes to talk my ears off, but it's slightly annoying since she can't hear AT ALL so she yells all the time. And I have to shout into her ear and use lots of hand guestures in order to respond. It can be frustrating. She always gives me cookies too. Most time I take them, thank her then throw them away once we're apart. But today she had Animal Crackers!!! I love animal crackers! So I had them! ;)

IN OTHER NEWS
I was recently contacted by wltips.com. This website features the stories of lots of sucessful dieters, and my story is now up too! It is fun to read how each person did it their way! Maybe someone there has advice that is "more your style." It's something cool to checkout!

I think I am going to go take a nap. :)

Cheers!

Jess

So far so good! I think...

These last few days have been so strange.

It feels weird not writing everything eat in my food journal. It feels abnormal not taking my weight after feeding the cats. But, I feel good and healthy! I get up and exercise as before, and I have been able to listen to the needs of my body better!

I asked Aaron what day of the week I should take my weight. He suggested I could try weighing myself daily, and then average the weights each week. That would help "smooth" out daily weight fluctuation... but then I am back to weighing myself daily again! I don't think that will work, so I'll take my chances just stepping on the scale on Saturdays. ;)

I'll let you know how Saturday goes!

Jess

Latest Picture:

Sinking or Swimming?

Every morning the cats and I have a ritual. I stumble over them from the bed to the bathroom, then I stumble over them from the bathroom to the kitchen. In the Kitchen I open them a fresh can of cat food to share.

Our Cats: Sabina (top-left) and Maxima (bottom-right)

The cat food is a diversionary tactic so I can double-back to the scale! You see, without the food to distract them, the cats always climb on the scale with me! (“ACK!! How did I gain 10 pounds overnight!!!! Oh, wait... Hi Sabina. Yes, I'll feed you now.” =^-^= MEOW!!! )

But this morning I chose not to get on the scale. (Don’t worry, the cats still got their food!)

I was very tempted to see what I weighed, but I don’t think daily weighing makes much of a difference anymore. I have been hovering around 145-ish for almost a year now, which is within the “healthy weight range” for someone my height.

Taking my weight data daily was really only good for populating my weight loss spreadsheets, but I can easily convert them to weekly weight monitoring spreadsheets by using a simple sorting algorithm, then copying the sorted data to a new sheets!! Oops, sorry... enough with the geek-speak.

I think weekly weigh-ins will help me win back my self-esteem from the daily emotional roller coaster a quarter pound up or down caused. On "light days" I feel great, but on days when I'm puffy or after a night out… I feel bad. And bad days trigger more bad days if you seek food to comfort yourself. It is an all too familiar trap many people trying to lose weight fall victim to.

You'd think after all these years of healthy living, and such a significant weight loss, I'd be able to conquer that vicious cycle... over-all I have, but in the past month or so it's been winning. I've had so much stress and my recent illness kept me from my usual exercise routine. But I've got right back into it as my health improved this week!

Without the daily weigh-in I feel like a kid who's swimming out to the deep end of the pool for the first time without a "floatie." Will I sink or will I swim?

I think I will swim! But if I do start to flounder, I know I have lots of "lifeguards" out there who will jump in and save me.

Trying to live like a real "Non-Dieting Healthy Person!"

Jess

I'm in a Magazine?! (and still sick)

Yesterday I received an email that said: "I recently saw an article in the October issue of Women's Health & Fitness about different blog sites and yours was featured as one of them." I was like Whoa! Really, I am in a magazine?! I must find a copy of this magazine to check it out! I have not seen a copy of it yet. Hopefully, it will hit the shelves in my area soon. :)

Going to Women's Health & Fitness's website revealed that the October 2006 issues also appears to be the last one the are releasing!!! I hope this doesn't make it more difficult to locate!

If you find the magazine with the article, let me know! (Cover color, page number etc...) :)

I am still sick and so utterly exhausted. I called in sick today. My team lead sounded cranky. After I said I feel horrible and will not be in today he said, "See you tomorrow." in a tone that was like, "You will be in tomorrow, even if you are dead!" So now I am sick, exhausted, and feel guilty that I am sick and unable to be at my desk. I wouldn't get anything accomplished if I was at work though... I am just so out of it. :-P

I have been sick since Saturday. Monday night, I was at the Pre-UGM Launch Party until 9:30, finally asleep by 10:30. I was up again by 5:30, and got all dolled up. I was downtown by 7:15 AM to greet arrivals to our General Session. (Still Sick) After the Session I helped direct users walking from Overture Hall to the Monona Terrace. After lunch I attended some learning session. I then hurried home, and got into costume for the "Future Feast"

I was a greeter at the Future Feast from 6:00 - 9:30. I was covered in glitter, so I had to take a shower when I got home. I finally got most of it off and crawled into bed at 11. (Still sick and now exhausted.)

Wednesday I get up early again because I have to be a room monitor from 7:15 - 12:15 in "Ballroom A" in the Monona Terrace. I had to stand that whole time, and I never had a chance to get away for a drink of water, or more importantly, Orange Juice. So I basically stood and dehydrated for 5 hours. I handed out packets of power-point slides, and collected evaluations.
(while still sick)

Wednesday evening things continued. At 5:30 I went to Ballroom C to help Host about 60 attendees for a night out on the town. Two other guys from Epic were also along as hosts, but I took on a leadership role, marking off who had arrived, handling the check, etc...

We were doing the "Space Place" activity. Here is what the brochure said it was:

"The vastness of sidereal space are opened to us, as we stargaze through the telescopes of University of Wisconsin, one of the builders of the Hubble space telescope. Learn about astronomical advancements and the future of space research and development. Includes private rooftop stargazing with dinner at the restaurant Magnus, featuring South American cuisine and fresh Hawaiian seafood flown in daily."

First the food.

There was no "South American Cuisine" or "Hawaiian seafood." We had our choice of Steak, Farm-raised Salmon, Duck, or Carrot Gnocchi. (with soup or salad). The food was very tasty but, some people were disappointed, thinking they were getting "Fresh Hawaiian Seafood."

Leaving the restaurant was a bit difficult because anyone that ordered alcohol had to pay for it themselves. so we had like 30 people trying to have the credit card run, make change, etc...

So, now we are about 30 minutes late getting to the "UW SPACE PLACE." And to some, it was another let down. They though they were going to a planetarium, or a "really big telescope."

The "Space Place" is actually an outreach of the UW located in a strip mall on South Park Street. (2300 S. Park, Madison, WI) Dr. Jim Lattis from the University of Wisconsin then gave us a talk about Astronomy and the future of Astronomy.

Now we have a room full of sleepy and slightly buzzed adults that are not really in the mood for another lecture. (They had just spent the last 8+ hours in Health Care lectures at UGM) So they were a bit restless. After Dr. Lattis's presentation a group got to head up to look through the telescope, the others went into the next room to look at the cool space place stuff.

Then there were others that felt mislead and wanted to just go back to their hotel, so we had the shuttle take those who wanted to go back while the rest looked around. Me and the guys ran damage control on those who were upset, and tried not to lose track of those who were really into it and would get lost in the place!!! It was really like herding cats, trying to keep a group like that together. At 10 we finally got the rest of the group done, and back on the coach. We also called some cabs for the other attendees.

We were busy until 10:30 making sure everyone had a ride back to their hotel. When I finally got home I just collapsed.

Today I got up around 8 I felt like I had been run over. My sinuses hurt so bad it just made my eyes ooze. I called in and felt bad that I was sick... but my body needs to heal and recover. In fact, I think am going to go lay back down and drink lots of fluids.

Jess

UGM Events + Cold = 147.50

In Sickness and in Health

This week is the super busy Users Group Meeting (UGM) at work. I have to go "mingle" at a pre-UGM party tonight from 6 - 9PM, then I'm greeting users starting at 7:30 tomorrow morning downtown for the General Session. I will then spend the remainder of the day in more specific sessions. Tomorrow night I will be in costume for the "Future Feast" from 6 - 9 again. Wednesday I will be a room monitor starting at 7:30 to Noon. I do not have any session Wednesday afternoon, however Wednesday evening I am hostessing the "Space Place" event from 6 - 9 again. BUSY BUSY BUSY!!! SO what a perfect time to get a cold!

I started coming down with this cold Saturday, but I kept thinking, oh that's just from the Karaoke and the smoky places. (I went out Friday night.) Sunday I knew I was actually sick so I spent most of yesterday in bed.

Aaron was such a sweety nursing me back to health. He gave me a big glass of orange juice. I here I am, al tucked in and sick in bed, red-chapped nose from all the blowing, and I say: "Orange Juice has over 100 calories per cup!" He says. "I don't care. We can worry about getting you healthy once you are actually healthy."

He's so smart!! And he makes a great point! I'll worry about getting healthy once I am actually healthy again! Orange juice it is! ;)

Cheers!

Jess

Ribs and Rolls

I think the question I get asked about the most is: Do you have "loose skin?"

Most people think that after shedding half your weight your going to have some leftover skin.

But I've lost my weight   V E R Y     S L O W L Y   over a long time, so my skin has been able to stick pretty close to my new shape!

You see, skin is an organ, a living part of your body, and not a stretched out balloon stuck on our outsides. Over time skin can shrink to your new shape, depending on your age and its elasticity. ( I am 28.5 by the way.)

Pinch the skin on the back of your hand, that is all the thicker your skin is. In order for the skin to shrink there has to be no fat left behind it.

Think of it like an igloo melting from the inside. The ice on the outside will hold it's shape until all the ice from the inside is gone, then it finally collapses.

Our bodies are a lot like that. Once the fat cells are all gone behind the skin, your skin shrinks to the new shape. This takes a long time, and is not easy to do, so most people prefer to take the quick route with plastic surgery to tidy things up.

Here's what my stomach currently looks like. (I hope it's not too traumatizing for ya!) ;) The top is all ribs now, while the bottom still has the remnants of my old rolls. I am still working hard to get these last strongholds of fat off my body by changing my body's composition through strength training. I think it's working! :)

Still working hard to get healthier!

Jess

p.s. the period weight is going away and I was back to 144.75 today.

Just get over it!

The evils of the menstrual cycle have me puffed up to 147!!! That’s nearly 4 pounds of monthly bloat, but that isn't unusual for me. That's average actually. I know that this spike in my weight is temporary… but it's effecting me. I should not be upset, but I am. Every Month it is the same thing. I know this weight is suddenly going to disappear in a few days, but it’s so hard to look on the bright side of things when you feel all puffy, crampy, and miserable! ARGH! :-P

Something that did make me feel good today though was voting in the primary! I can't wait to do it again in November!!!

Not again...

Last night I displayed tell-tale signs that the monthly mega-bitch has returned.

I don't remember my PMS being so bad when I was bigger. Maybe since I am smaller now it's more concentrated? I don't know.

It was so frustrating because I KNEW I was PMS-ing! The rational part of me said "Why are you getting so upset? These things never bothered you before. It's PMS." My overpowering emotional side however told her, "Get lost!! I'll feel how I want to feel!!!" *SIGH* It's like I'm a passenger in a psycho roller coaster that I have no control over, but after a good nights sleep I think it might be safe for Aaron to talk to me again. ;)

Even though it's close to "that time of the month," my weight has been amazingly stable! This is extra cool considering how unstable I've felt recently! ;) I was 143.25 this morning! That's 1.25 pounds down since September 1st. It's also one pound more than the weight I was when I kicked the fake sugar habit and entered "Maintenance Mode."

I've been keeping up with my exercise and eat around 2000 calories each day now. Oh! And I've finally got a multivitamin again! My old one contained aspartame!!! (Those bastards.) I got a "women's formula" so hopefully it will help "balance me out" by next month!! ;)

I need to have breakfast and get ready for TaiChi! :-D

-Jess

"Backseat Dieting"

I was 144.00 this morning! That's half a pound less than what I was on Friday. :) I made it through a 3-day Weekend and a family gathering successfully!

It was the FIRST time in 6 years of marriage that I finally got to meet members of my husband's family other than his parents and siblings. It was so exciting! There was nearly 20 of us at the party. We played, talked, and took a rides through the woods on their land. They also picked up 5 or 6 different flavors of coffeecake for the special occasion. I tried a small slice of the chocolate chip flavor, then came back to try a slice of the strawberry cheesecake flavor.

When I got the cake someone commented that they've been reading my blog, and how I've recently gained weight. They then suggested I have an apple "or would I just take the cake and confess my sins on my blog again?"

I felt like I had been slapped in the face. These past few weeks have been really rough for me, and the last thing I need is a "backseat dieter" needling me with guilt about it. I don't think they realized how harsh those comments sound to a person who's struggled with her weight. For those of you that don't know "fat-ese" this is what I heard: "I read your blog. You're getting fat. Fatties like you shouldn't be eating cake."

I wouldn't have taken the cake if it wasn't within my calorie limits. I have been losing weight, and getting healthy for over 4 years now. I think I know what works for me! ;) I've never stopped eating sweets, so don't be surprised if you see me eating cake. I eat cake. I eat pie. I eat ice cream. I eat whatever I want, and I'm still successful! I don't need criticism on what I eat, especially at a party.

I ate 2020 calories today. (Maintenance Level) I rode the bike, hard, for 30 minutes this morning before breakfast. Later on, I did another 20 minutes as a warm-up for weight lifting & sit-ups. I think tomorrow will be a Rest Day! ;)

Cheers!

Jess

Only Slightly Disastrous

I was 144.50 this morning, which is 3.75 pounds more than 140.75 I was on August 1st. Then PMS puffed me up to 141.00. A few days later cravings and bloating increased my weight to 142.25. Right at the end of my period my Uncle died and I went straight into a few days of grief eating tipping the scales up to 144.25. If that wasn’t enough, our friends from San Francisco visited for a few days, and we went out for every meal. Thai Food for Lunch, then Sushi for supper. The next day we had Donuts for breakfast and lots of pizza for lunch… after all that I was 147.50(!!!), but it was very temporary. (Most of that weight was just from all the food still in me! ;)

I will be back to my usual 140-145 ish weight in a few days. I am still in “maintenance mode” until October. (As I “detoxify” from the aspartame.)

6 Years of Wedded Bliss!

Aaron and I celebrated our 6th Wedding Anniversary on Tuesday, August 29th.

This picture was taken in Olbrich 's Rock Garden after we renewed our vows. :)

A Little Piece of History

Years ago, before I had a weight loss website, I used to send out an email to my family and friends letting them know how I was doing.

Over time the emails grew into a webpage, and then the webpage into a Blog. (Thanks to a suggestion by Lynn) Soon more than my family and friends were finding my site and reading about my progress.

Eventually I moved my whole site over to Blogger because I got so sick of my visitors being spammed with ads and pop-ups on my old site.

Anyway, I found a copy of the first e-mail I ever sent out! This email is what lead to the creation of this site. I though I'd share it!

---

Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2003 4:38 PM
Subject: Feeling AWESOME!

Hey Everybody!

Today's been a great day for me, and I felt like writing to my family and friends to celebrate!

What makes today so wonderful for me?

Well, as some of you already know, I have been slowly losing weight over the past 8 months. Last week I reached -30 pounds from my start weight!

I reward myself for every ten pounds lost by getting a new DVD, or Book.

This time I chose the 1st DVD from the Seventh Season of Ranma 1/2. (MY FAVORITE ANIME!) It arrived in the mail today, and I am just ecstatic!

I actually weigh less than the weight on my drivers licence! (I am not sure if you guys understand how amazing that is! ;)

I will have to get some current pictures up on my web page for a little Before/After action...

I don't have a "goal weight" set or anything. I have just started living healthier. The only "goal" that I have is for my butt to fit better in the seat of the plane when Aaron and I go to San Fransisco this Summer! I had awful experiences on planes in the past with my hips barely fitting in between the arm rests, and the seat-buckle painful to buckle.... Argh!

That is my one simple goal...

I hope you are all doing well.

Please write me back and let me know how you are! :)

Love,

Jess

---

So there it is! That's the e-mail that started my weight loss website back in 2003. I never intended to lose weight publicly, but it just sorta happened. I am glad it did though! :)

Real Sugar + Funeral = Kummerspeck

Kummerspeck is a German word which literally means "grief bacon." It is used to describe the excess weight gained from emotion-related overeating.

So far I have added about 3 pounds of Kummerspeck. His death happened right at the end of my period... so I never really recovered from that monthly weight spike when the grief-eating started. *Sigh* I've been sticking with my exercise, but not counting my calories that well. I'll get through this and get back on the healthy wagon... in a while.

Real Hero Lost

My Uncle David Furseth past away Sunday night. Tonight is the visitation, and the funeral is tomorrow. My Aunt Donna (my mother’s sister) was his first wife, and his second wife, Cindy, is my God-mother.

When I was a child, Uncle Dave was a superhero to me. He was a real cop, and a fire fighter! He was truly a brave man that saved many, many lives. I’m still kinda in the numb disbelief phase of grieving. I know it will hit me hard tonight.

Killing Me Sweetly

Oh. My. God. What the hell have I been putting in my body!?

In my own tips section I basically say "don't do the sugar free thing." But this weekend I suddenly realized that I have been eating a lot of Aspartame. (Nutra-Sweet / Equal) I think it has been affecting me.

There have also been studies that show artificial sweeteners screw up the body's natural ability to know when you are satisfied, thus crippling weight loss efforts.

So today I have gone "Cold Turkey." We threw out all the stuff that contained Aspartame, or the "Phenylalanine Warning," then bought replacement products. The stuff with real sugar have like 20 to 70 calories more per serving. The odd thing was, even though they had more calories, I actually ate less calories. This was because I felt satisfied much longer. So I did not need to eat as frequently. I also didn't have any intense cravings today. Which is great because lately I've been feeling like the Ravenous Bugbladder Beast of Traal. (For those of you who know where your towel is.)

I think I'm off to a good start! Aaron wants me to take some time to "detoxify." So I am going to be eating simple unprocessed foods for a while. My daily calories are also changing to a more "maintenance mode" level, instead of a weight loss amount. (Although, websites suggest that I'll lose some weight just by freeing myself from the chemicals. )

Time to hit the sack!

Jess

Still puffed, but doing good!

I got up early today and did a hard 30 minute program on the bike. I was 141.50 this morning, which is acceptable considering it's that time of the month. I should be back under 140 in a few days. :)

Today my team at work went out for lunch. I was worried about it because we went to "Old Chicago" which is a pizza place. Everyone ordered a personal pizza or split a big "Triple-decker-roni." I ordered a grilled chicken breast caeser salad with the dressing on the side. I was so worried thinking that I'd have to eat something high in calories, but it turned out okay! I estimate I ate about 1700 calories today, another Good day!

Now I get to try to be "good" through the weekend!!!!! Yea!

The Bad Day that was Good.

Today was a bad day. Right from the start, it sucked. At MIDNIGHT, just as this horrible day was starting, I awoke with bad cramps and the start of my period. I was up until 1:30 waiting for the Advil to kick in.

I was barely back to sleep when the alarm went off at 5:30. I slept in for a bit, but then Aaron said I needed to get up if I wanted to make my bus. So I started to get ready and then discovered that the gallon of water that I refill and take in to work each day... well I left it at work, so I didn't have any water to drink at work except for the tap water there. You can actually see the junk floating in your water. It also makes my throat feel nasty. So I did not get to drink as much water as I normally do.

It was UBERSTRESS deadline day at work, and the system went down for HOURS. Then they'd get it back up limping again, just to have it go BOOM. It's so Frustrating!!!! Then the only thing I had left to do... the Developer (Coder) decides to "redo" some of it... so all my previous work is nullified. But then I am thinking, well I am good then! I have nothing left to do! I AM DONE!

WRONG. One of my co-workers quickly gives me two of her logs, PLUS I get 2 more "They needed it yesterday" Customer retrofits! I logged 10 hours of work today, then I called home and begged Aaron to PLEASE COME AND GET ME. (My handsome knight to the rescue!) Now I am Home... I am HOME!!

Today is a Rest Day. I was puffed up to 141 this morning, (That's 2 pounds of period puff) and ate 1680 calories. That means today was actually a "GOOD" day! HA! It's actually quite remarkable that I was able to make today a good day even under all that stress & my period!!!

Days like this in the past, I'd eat a constant stream of M&M's or Hershey's kisses. But today I was careful. I snacked a lot, but on things like Light Yogurt with 1/2 c. Fiber One, a Chocolate - South Beach Diet Cereal Bar, or a 1/4 c. of Almonds.

I need to get to sleep now. Tomorrow has GOT to be better! :)

-Jess

Tagged! 5 Weird Things/Habits

I was tagged by pastgirl, so here are my answers!

1.) I HATE CARROTS!!!
Even though I often eat vegetarian, and live a healthy lifestyle... I can't stand carrots. Only if they are chopped up into super tiny undetectable pieces can I eat them, like in a veggie burger.

2.) I HATE PEACOCKS!!!
They are so damn LOUD and they sound like someone screaming for help. I used to live with my Aunt and Uncle and they had FOUR peacocks (and some peahens for them to cock off to). I was going to college full time while also working full time, 2nd shift, in a Community Based Residential Facility for elderly adults with mental disabilities or Alzheimer's disease. It was so stressful. When I'd get home late, and want to sleep, but those damn Peacocks would start screaming at the crack of dawn. When ever I see peacock feathers I think, "I HATE PEACOCKS!!!"

3.) I MET MY HUSBAND AT A LIVE-ACTION ROLE PLAYING GAME OF VAMPIRE THE MASQUERADE!!!
You know the stereotypical nerd that plays D&D? Well about 1 out of 10 or so of those extra geeky nerds is a girl! Most gaming groups have the "token-chick gamer" and most groups feel that they need one gamer-girl in the group to bring balance to the force. Aaron and I were just friends for nearly 5 years before we started dating. After we started dating we were married 4 months later. It was funny because some people didn't realize that Aaron and I had a 5 year relationship beforehand. (I was Clan Tremere and he was Toreador)

4.) I LOVE "HAREM ANIME"
I love anime that is like one guy and one girl, but then there is a complication in their relationship, and that usually results in lots of other women co-habitating or getting involved. It leads to very funny situations and I just love it! :)

5.) I TAKE PUBLIC TRANSIT TO WORK!!!
I catch the West-Bound 18 around 6:45AM, then transfer to the 62. I ride until I reach the corner of Minneral Point and Gammon Road, then walk to my building from there. I get in around 7:15 most days. I work until 4 then do it all in reverse to get home around 4:45. :) The City of Madison is "revamping" the bus system starting the 27th this month. It may increase my walking, but could shorten my commute!

Well... that was stupid.

Today I decided I'd try a "fluffernutter" sandwich.

What a colossal waste of calories!! What was I thinking? I should of just had chocolate. *Sigh* It was a super spike in my blood sugar and made me feel even hungrier later... which totally sucked.

I was 139.25 this morning and it was a rest day.
Total calories today were 1700.

That was totally worth it!!!

Tonight I had 1/2 a cup of Dove Chocolate Ice Cream, with chunks of brownies and chocolate. It was Oh-My-God good, but I almost didn't have it!

I kept thinking do I really want to "blow" 290 calories on only a half a cup of ice cream?
It's only a half a cup! Then I realized that my favorite "treat" is 270 calories and even smaller than half a cup! (2 TBSP of Natural Peanut Butter with 22 Ghirardelli Milk Chocolate Chips)

So I had the ice cream and it was blissful! I haven't had ice cream in a long while, and half a cup was a surprisingly satisfying amount!

My calories today were 1700 on the button, and I was pretty active today too. I got up and biked for 50 calories in 30 minutes. I also walked a lot, and not just the usual to-and-from the stupidly laid out bus stops. I walked to and from the eye doctor today which was an additional 2.6 miles!

I was 139.00 this morning - my lowest adult weight ever! Hopefully tomorrow I will be this weight again or less. ;)

-Jess

My Message

So last night I had time to really check out that show’s website.

It seems they’ve contacted me about the show topic: “I dropped pounds, and my Lover/Friends/Family Dropped Me!” Mmm, I don’t think I meet that criteria. No one has “dropped” me because I’ve lost weight.

I recently wrote about how Aaron and I are just as lovey-dovey as ever! One of my friends sometimes makes snarky comments about my new size, but we haven’t ended our friendship over it. And my family is very proud of me... although, my Mom is ALWAYS trying to get me to eat! It is so complicated with Mom for a number of reasons:

1. She seems to think that “Food is Love.” If you eat the food she makes, then you love her. When I say “No thanks,” it really seems to upset her.
   
2. The bad eating habits mom taught me as a child are what made me obese to begin with!


3. My little sister, Samantha, is being raised the same way. She will turn 8 in September, yet already weighs 125 pounds!!! That’s less than 15 pounds away from what I currently weigh! It really upsets me that she’s raising another daughter who will have to deal with the psychological trauma of being “The FAT KID.” I’ve talked to mom about my concern for Sammy, but I feel so powerless to help the ones closest to me with their weight and food struggles.
   
4. Mom used to be big like me, but got bariatric bypass surgery in Feb. 2004. She got skinny fast, but never learned how to be healthy. Now she’s freaking out because she is starting to regain weight. She has asked for my help, and I give it to her… but I don’t know if she can change. I can’t make her be healthy… she needs to learn to do that herself.
   
5. I also think she is upset that I weigh less than her now, and I didn’t have to reroute my digestive track to do so!

Okay, so maybe there is a bit of tension between me and my mom, but it’s not bad. She hasn’t “dropped me.” She just keeps trying to feed me!

*SIGH* I was so excited, thinking that I’d get to share my weight loss success story on T.V.... But I don’t think I have enough “relationship baggage” for them to want me. Oh well, I didn’t need those “10 extra pounds” the camera adds anyway! ;)

If I ever get on television, I want to tell people they don’t have to starve, or get cut apart, to lose what may seem like an impossible amount of weight. I want to inspire people to know that massive weight loss is achievable naturally if you are truly dedicated to getting healthy!!!

It’s not about getting skinny, being a size X, or weighing a certain number. You just have to focus on what is good for you, and really work at it! It’s not easy, and it takes a long time, but it is doable! You don’t have to be perfect; you just need to be dedicated!!!

As long as you keep working towards being healthy, even if you have bad days along the way, you will eventually get healthy!!! That is my message, simple but true. It just something this instant-gratification world doesn’t want you to hear. They’d rather take our money, encouraging us to over-consume, then take even more of our money offering us drugs and miracle products to “restore our health.” This culture is criminal.

What do you think?

I recieved an email from a person who is working on a new nationally syndicated talk show premiering this Fall. (The Greg Behrendt Show)

The Greg Behrendt Show is a positive, upbeat show looking to push people in the right direction. This is not about exploiting anyone's story; rather it's about giving people the helpful advice they need.

Sounds right up my alley! They want to do a show about the ups and downs of weight loss and how weight change affects personal relationships. While researching that topic they found my blog, and asked me to contact them if I was interested in sharing my story. (You bet I do!!)

I wonder if I will actually get to be on the show? What do you think? :)

-Jess

Aaron's Reward

I made it through the Potluck unscathed! I was 139.50 this AM! I've lost more weight than I weigh... Crazy! If I am still 140 or less tomorrow, I'm going to update my site to read "Over 140 Pounds Lost!!!" (and still going!)

Aaron will also earn his Reward.

When we changed my Rewards System from being tied to my weight, to just "living healthy 15 days in a row," I suggested when I reach those old 5 pound increment goal weights that Aaron should get a reward!

He totally deserves rewards too because I could never have done this without him! His loving support and gentle encouragement has really kept me going all these years. He always keeps me safe, even when I don't want to be! ;) ("But I NEED chocolate!!!" "You are out of calories for today. You can have some tomorrow.") He also helps me get out of bed on days when I don't want to get up and workout. He just has this way of making me want to be my best. :) I know I am not perfect, but for him I want to be! :) And he loves me as I am, no matter what I look like. :)

I have actually been asked if my husband "loves me more" now that I am healthy! I couldn't help but laugh! I then assured the asker that Aaron doesn't love me any more or less now that I am healthy, although we have loved eachother longer now! We'll be celebrating 6 years of perpetual bliss coming up on the 29th this month! :) I am so excited! :)

Well I better get some more stuff done on my "To-do" list.

Take Care!

Jess

Looking Down the Barrel of a Potluck.

Today at work we had our “Team Picnic.” I was totally stressing-out about the food there. That stress triggered some nervous snacking. So worrying about food, made me eat even more food! ARGH!!!! By 9:00 AM I had ate 520 calories, and I still had to get through that potluck!

Things were not looking good, so I emailed Aaron for support!!!

JESS:
I’m worried about the lunch today.

AARON:
You can be okay. Do your best. :)

JESS:
I’ll try.

AARON:
I don’t know if try is the word. Just do your best, and we’ll see how good that is. Do or do not. There is no try.

So Aaron, and the words of Jedi Master Yoda, got me feeling better! I would do my best!

Next thing I know it’s time for the picnic.

Here is what I had at the picnic and my estimated calories:

2 Tbsp Hummus.......200

Half a Pita..........90

Raw Veggies.........100

Trail Mix...........200

Homemade Carmel.....250

Which took my daily total to 1360. That’s 350 calories more than my average post lunch calorie total, but it’s not that bad! I’ve had far worse days! Like Saturday July 15th, where I had to cut myself off after lunch because I was already at 1970 calories! (We went out for lunch at a Pizza place and got dessert…) The Saturday after that was also bad. I ate a whole box of Stovetop stuffing for lunch, leaving me with half a sandwich and some instant oatmeal for supper.

I eat so stupid on the weekend! But even when I am being dumb, I stick to my calorie budget! I should really plan my meals/calories in advance! When I have a plan I stick too it, and that which would really help me from the weekend! On workdays I am so “good.” I know what I am eating, and when. But on the weekends there is no structure, and I end up eating 600 calories junk, then and have get through the rest of the day on just 1000 calories, which is doable, just not enjoyable. :P

Have a good weekend!

Jess

Still Thinking with a "Fat Brain"

Even though I am now in a Healthy Body, I still have what I call a “Fat Brain.” For the previous 20 years of my life I’d been a “Fat Chick.” It's something that won't go away just because I am “skinny” now. (It still shocks me when people use that word when talking about me!!!!!)

Things are so much different now that I am not fat. The other day I was at a busy restaurant sitting at a small table in the middle of the lunch rush. I got up for some chopsticks, and was able to weave my way past all the crowded tables without bumping into someone with my hips or having to uncomfortably ask someone to scoot-in, or move their chair so I could get through. After I got the chopsticks I felt so excited and proud! This is something that most “normal-sized” person wouldn’t even notice, or even think twice about. But to me it was an amazing accomplishment!! I was so thrilled! I never would have been able to do that in my old body.

Another thing that is strange now that I am “thin” is the size of portions some people offer me. They seem to want me to overeat and make me fat again. It’s like some sort of passive aggressive attack, perhaps out of jealously of my success? I’m not sure if people are doing this on purpose... but when I was bigger, people offered me less food. Like they were thinking "Oh, you are big so you should not eat so much."

The weirdest thing that has been happening lately is random men suddenly talking to me. Strangers never talked to me like this when I was fat. I believe they are hitting on me, but again this is a pretty new thing for me. Shouldn't my Wedding Ring be like garlic to vampires to these "playas?" Or are they too busy checking me out to notice I'm wearing a ring? (Song my Husband made-up:"You are so hot! Sizzle Sizzle Mrs. Scott!)

Checking for a ring should be step TWO when checking someone out.

Step one - check out hottie.
Step two - check for ring on left ring finger.
Step three - hit on hottie, ONLY IF THE RESULT OF STEP TWO IS NULL.

Okay maybe that is a tad too logical. Most guys prefer to leap right into “Hey baby, what’s your name? Wanna hang?” approach. Gee!! How can I refuse a SMOOTH line like that?! Oh wait. I know! I am a happily married to someone else! :)

Today was another sucessful day for living healthy. Day 10!

It's almost the Weekend!!!! Yea!

Recap of July

July was my first full month “living healthy” and I lost a total of 1.5 pounds.

I can really feel the composition of my body changing! It's like my fat's a slowly receding glacier, first from off my face, then my chest, and now it's slowly working off my belly. My thighs will be the last place place to change, and even if it takes a few more years to get there.

I am commited to being healthy, not just to lose weight, but as the way I live my life now! :)

Half My Weight!!

Even though I have switched over to "being healthy" as my goal. I still weight myself every morning to see how I am doing.

The last few days I have been very close to or even 140 itself! I've halved my weight! It's so weird to think that I have lost as much weight as I weigh! It also blows my mind to think that each pound that I lose from now on will mean I've lost more weight than I weigh! Crazy! Soon I'll update my pages with "Over 140 Pounds lost!" instead of the "135" I currently have! :)

I never dreamed that I would be this successful!! But I did it, one day at a time, and here I am 4 years later HALF my size!!

Answers for Amy!

"Jessica, I have so many questions now! I have read all your pages (I think) and I guess my first question is what do you use to know the calorie count in your foods? Is there an online chart that you use, did you buy a program, a book? Based on the program that your husband created - I guess I would start with my current calorie needs and then continue to decrease as I lose weight? Were there times where you were starving? Did you start with exercise right from the beginning - and do you find your skin is flabby now that you have lost so much weight? Sorry to bombard you but I am so interested!!"

-Amy

I decided to do the answers to Amy's question as a new post!

First Question: What do you use to know the calorie count in your foods?

Most often I get my calorie amount the Nutritional Facts on the box/label. I eat a serving, even if that means counting out exactly 32 chocolate chips, or using measuring cups. If I don't know how many calories are in what I am eating, I look it up online! :) One of my favorite sites to look up calories is: http://www.nutritiondata.com.

Most restaurants have the nutritional data of their foods on their websites too. I love to do "re-con" before I go out to eat at: www.hungrygirl.com. The "Girl's Bite Out" section basically tells you what the "safest" thing to eat is. Very Cool!!!


Second Question: Is there an online chart that you use, did you buy a program, a book?

I do not use an online chart... although I do keep a spreadsheet with my daily weights and other weight loss tools. These are the same tools Aaron made into the Calorie Calculator program. I didn't buy a program or a book. I just use the free information from the Internet, and the nutritional labels themselves. :)


Third Question: ...I guess I would start with my current calorie needs and then continue to decrease as I lose weight?

Your caloric needs is the number of calories it takes for your body to maintain it's current weight according to your age, weight, height and activity level. It's best to try to cut about 200 - 500 calories off that number to start losing weight. The more you cut the more you lose, but never eat less than 1200 calories a day that is dangerous and deadly!


Fourth Question: Were there times where you were starving?

Not really, I never starved myself. I always eat a safe number of calories each day and try to eat healthy meals. But there have been times where I've gone to bed hungry... but on those days I have only myself to blame. I am very dedicated to my calorie limits, and if I blow my calories on something stupid... (Like the day I ate a whole box of stovetop stuffing for lunch, and then only had like 160 calories for the rest of the day!) I end up feeling hungry, but it's just one day. On days like that I just go to bed early!


Fifth Question: Did you start with exercise right from the beginning?

Nope. I did not exercise in the very beginning. After a few months of eating better I got a "Yoga for Beginners" tape, which I did maybe... three times, Tops. So then I got an exercise bike, but it turned out I could not use it until I was under 250 pounds! I was TOO FAT for the bike! (That really motivated me to lose weight.) Then I got a "Yoga for Weight Loss" DVD, and that one clicked with me. It had 4 different instructors of varying ability to follow, so it progressed with me! Eventually I slimmed down enough so I could use the bike. I love the bike!!! I like to pedal away while watching T.V. Another of my favorite activities is just walking around the block. I don't do super-fast power-walking stuff, I just kinda plod along at my normal pace. :) Aaron and I also take a Tai Chi class which I count as exercise, and this year for my birthday, I got a set of free weights from my in-laws!!! SWEET! So to recap, when I started, I did nothing, but now I'm pretty active!



And although she found the answer in my archives.... for those of you curious to know...

Sixth Question: Do you find your skin is flabby now that you have lost so much weight?

As for "The Skin Thing," Pinch the skin on the back of your hand. That is all the thicker your skin is! (It's half the pinch because you have your skin folded.) Once the fat cells behind it are gone, the skin will shrink to the new shape because skin is a living organ, not some stretched out balloon stuck on your outside.

Since I lost my weight very slowly, (This August will be my 4th year of living healthy!) I don't have excess skin hanging off me. You can see how my skin's doing for yourself in my current pictures! :)

Lowering my Standard Deviation

Aaron, my uber-nerdy totally adorable husband, was crunching my weight loss numbers.

To him weight loss is just a equation with calories needed vs. calories consumed vs. calories burned. Yesterday he was analysing my daily calorie totals. Over the past 40 days my average daily caloric intake was 1750. But my standard deviation was about 250. Basically means some days I eat 1950, and other days I eat 1600, fluctuating around that average amount. I didn't think that was a big deal but he thinks I should try limiting my calories to just between 1500-1700 to lower the daily average, and my deviation.

Today was another good day! :) Even thought we are still tweaking the definition of what a good day is!

With the heat and humidity my hair has been such a pain. (94'F today, 54% Humidity in Madison, WI) When I got up this morning my hair was HUGE, and instead of fighting it, I just rolled with it. I sprayed it with more hairspray than I have used all year, and styled it into a big "helmet hair-do." Then sprayed it again.

I took these pictures 10 hours after I did my hair when I got home tonight, and it is STILL that big and not moving! :)

I can't decide what to call this hair style. One co-worker said I had "60's hair," another said "Glam hair," and the funniest classification was "Politician" or "Preacher's Wife" Hair.

Today was a Rest Day! I was 140.75 this morning for the second day in a row!! ( And I thought the puff was gone at 142!) Tomorrow morning is Double Tai Chi! It is going to be a sweaty event, but our instructor is like, "This is what the weather is like in Taipei." So I guess it makes it more "authentic" to do Tai Chi while sweating your butt off? ;)

Cheers!

Workday vs. Weekend

My monthly weight loss SNAFU has passed and things seem to be getting back to normal! I was 142 on the button this morning.

Today was another "good" day! I walked 1.25 miles before lunch and I ate 1820 total calories today. If things keep up going this well I will get my next reward August 9th... which is my niece's Birthday! She is going to be 11 this year, that is the same age as Harry Potter in book one! Okay, I'll stop being such a nerd. ;)

I LOVE Workdays! They are so much easier for weight loss than Weekends. On workdays, I know what I am eating and when:

7:30 AM - Oatmeal & Orange Juice
10:00 AM - Banana
11:30 AM - Light Yogurt with 1/2 cup All-Bran
1:00 PM - Turkey and Mustard on Whole Wheat*
3:00 PM - Snack Bar

* Or another lunch of equal caloric value.

Then I get home and have a nice supper with a treat/dessert. The rest of the evening I play games, have fun on the computer, or watch T.V. These activities keep me occupied and safe from mindless over-eating.

The weekends however are dangerous. My schedule is all different and there are often family functions that involve food! (Like that upcoming birthday!) I normally take it easy on the weekend and just hope that I will be the same weight on Monday that I was on Friday. ;)

2 more days until the weekend!!!

-Jess

Reward on it's way!

I was able to stick to my healthy ways for 15 days straight, so this morning while I biked Aaron order the next DVD in the Ai Yori Aoshi series! I am going to stick with being healthy, but I am going to up my activity level to two days on one day off consistently for the next 15 days. Two days on one off is 3 days, so I just need to do it 5 times! :)

I have really been slacking in the water department lately. I plan to pick up a gallon of water to keep at my desk today. I think that lots of water and more activity will really help my body get healthy!

My period is nearly over now and the puff is going away. I was 144 this AM!
ACK!! I need to make my lunch and catch the bus!

Cheers!

Jess

Close Call!!!

Goodness! I really did jinx myself! My period started and I became a food craving maniac! I had 580 calories for breakfast, and 1090 at lunch!!!! I was at 1670 calories by noon! That's more calories than I eat in an entire day sometimes!

I wanted to keep eating and but was finally able to get myself under control. I plan to have a small sandwich 140 calories for supper. My total calories today will be 1810 which is still in my "good" range!

Day 13th was rather unlucky, but it was still a success!

Getting THX Certified!

Even though I'm getting all crampy and bloaty, I'm in a great mood! It's really odd, now that I am smaller, I can really feel what's going on inside my body. I don't know if this is true for everyone though.

When I was bigger, my body seemed to communicate to me in a staticy monophonic. Now that I am healthier, things have improved to Dolby Surround Sound, and I'm still working hard to hopefully become "THX Certified!" ;)

I weighed 142.50 pounds this morning and I rode the bike for a sweaty 30 minute program. I ate a total of 1750 calories today, so that makes day 12 a success! I am so close to my next goal, there is no way I'll screw it up, right??? GASP!!! I hope I didn't just jinx myself...
Like when a person in a Horror movie says "I'll be right back..." Then wanders off by herself, in high heels, to find out what's making that strange noise in the basement with only the penetrating light of a candle...

Naw, I am no Hitchcock Blonde! I'll be fine and I will be getting that reward come Tuesday!!

Have a Great Weekend!

Jess

Head's up!

Lately "Anonymous" has been leaving lots of comments on my blog. Most of their posts have a link to some other site pushing weight loss drugs or online gambling... Not Cool!!!

I'll be deleting all the comments like that I find and changing the Comment Settings so people can't post anonymously anymore.

This site is about real healthy successful weight loss, I don't want it spammed-up!!!

“Yogurt is Not a Dessert.”

Most days at work I have a mid-morning snack of a flavored Yoplait yogurt with 1/2 cup of All-Bran for some high-fiber crunch! Today I worked right through my morning break and did not notice until lunch! As I was getting my sandwich from the fridge, I noticed my uneaten yogurt . "Ooo!" I said. "I can have my yogurt as dessert!"

A co-worker quickly laughed, "Yogurt is not a dessert!" I just smiled and ignored him. My yogurt was Banana Crème pie, and once it was all mixed up with that All-Bran "crust," it was a very yummy pie-like treat! I liked it, and that's really all that matters since it was my "dessert!" ;)

Today is my 11th "good day" in a row! It's nearly reward time again! (It's also getting close to that time of the month too... blah!)

Yesterday I decided to push the number of days it takes to reach a goal out to 15. For some reason, it's easier for me to think of being healthy in 5 tiny 3-day blocks, than TWO WHOLE WEEKS STRAIGHT!

Weight loss is all about finding what works for you, and sticking too it. You don't have to be perfect all the time, you just need to be determined to succeed!!!

AM Bike and Leftover Curries

I got up early today and road the bike before breakfast. I also did a bit of walking to and from the bus stops. My calories today were 1950 close to my limit, but still a good day! So that makes 9 days in a row of being healthy! :) I am nearly to another GOAL! I am so excited! :) Yatta!

Too Perky for Monday!

Today was our big "All-Staff Meeting" at work. We have to rent the big local Concert Venue (Veterans Memorial Coliseum) to find room for us all! They setup 3 huge screens, and an audio system hooked up to a laptop for everyone to do their presentations! It starts at 8:30AM and goes... until done, which was 10:30-ish today.

The meeting started with the first speaker saying "Good morning" after which I cheered back, "GOOD MORNING!!!" The lone voice from the 2,100+ people in the place. He then said, only one of you is awake? Let's try that again... I guess I am just too perky.

I've ate 1460 calories so far today, and only did walking as my exercise because it is SO HOT!!! I plan to have a few more calories tonight, in CHOCOLATE!!!! :)

Practicing what I preach!

On my weight loss tips page I have a note at the bottom of #16. (Be Active for at Least 30 Minutes Every Other Day.) It reads: "The best time of day to exercise is before supper, or before breakfast. These are the times when your blood sugar is at its lowest. This will help you start burning fat faster."

Over the past few months (in which I've been in a weight loss rut...) I had been doing most of my exercise after dinner. But recently, I've switched back to doing something before breakfast. What a difference!!! :) My calories are still the same as before, but now the weight has started to melt off again! It looks like I've finally reached the end of this long weight loss plateau!

Even though the scales are moving again, I'm sticking with my new motivation method of just being healthy!! (Day 6 of 14!)

I was 140.50 this AM, and biked program 3 for 30 minutes/66 calories before breakfast. So far I have ate 1030 calories. I have 600 - 970 calories left for supper! yea! I plan to save 200 or so for something chocolate! ;)

-Jess

Aloha Friday!!!

My weight was 141.75 this morning. I got up early and rode the bike before breakfast. Today was another successful day, so that's day 5 towards my 14 day goal. (1765 calories consumed.) I am so happy it is the weekend!! I really need this time to relax :)

This Week is Going So Slow!!!

Aaron suggested that I take today as another rest day, and who am I to argue with that! ;) My Calories were 1640 today, (290 of that was chocolate!) My weight was 143.50 this AM.

At work I am helping to write the movie script for this years Users Group Meeting. Last year the theme was "Mysteries," and I was in the movie as the evil "Em Fatale." (I can send you the file if you are interested seeing it.) This year the theme is "THE FUTURE." I am writing about the year 7006 to be exact... not that I can say anything exact about the year 7006... but it is fun to speculate.

In all honestly, with all the pollution, war or even an asteroid striking the Earth... I'd be surprised if the human race can make it to the year 7006, but for all intensive purposes we have to believe that the world is all nice and clean and Utopian.

Ow... That Wonderful "Day After" Feeling...

Today was a post yoga recovery day. I am sore all over in that good kind of way. I had 1685 calories, and now I am gonna go to bed! :)

Another Good Day! :)

I did manage to get my butt out of bed this morning and do yoga. I also walked around the block today at lunch.

My calories were 1700 on the head.

140 Oatmeal
140 South Beach Diet Bar
110 Light Yogurt Banana Creme
100 1 c. All-bran Extra Fiber
140 2 slices whole wheat bread
20 Mustard
50 Turkey
170 Orange Juice
130 Kudos Bar
220 2 Tortillas
220 1/2 c. Shredded Cheese
150 1 c. Boca Crumbles with Taco Seasoning
20 4 Tbsp. Salsa
90 2 Dove Milk Chocolates
=======================================
1700

My wrist is really flaring up so I'm gonna cut this short :)

Cheers!

-Jess

AM weight = 142.75