Thursday, October 30, 2008

Dance Your Ass Off?

I was contacted by a new reality show that was pitched as "The Biggest Loser" meets "Dancing with the Stars." I beleive it was called "Dance Your Ass Off" and it would be on the Oxygen network.

I am kind of tempted to apply, but I worry about my knees. I also worry about the time commitment, and where will the filming take place? What about my job? I have a lot of questions, but I have to admit I'd still like to try!

I was 195.25 this morning. My period puff, and travel weight is shedding as fast as my cats... well maybe not that fast! ;)

Wednesday, October 29, 2008


This year I am wearing a "traditional" costume.

I am going as a Vampire!

I am entering this picture in a costume contest!

Sadly "sexiest" costume is not one of the categories they are giving prizes for.

I should start making plans for this Friday night!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

They're back!

Why do all my business trips ALWAYS seem to correspond with my period?

Between hormone fueled cravings and workout-stopping cramps - this time of the month is always a nightmare for weight loss, then stick me with only restaurant food?! Yikes!

I was 197.25 this morning - the same weight I was on Oct. 1st.

It is so frustrating to have three weeks of hard work wiped-out by one week on the road with my period!

Oh well. Now I am home and things are getting back to "normal."
I should recover quickly! :)

Yesterday I ate:

Cals Fat Sodium Fbr Food
080 01g 0080mg 10g 1/2 c. All-bran Original
190 03g 0085mg 00g 6 oz. Coconut Yogurt
405 14g 0817mg 00g 12 oz. Chili Relleno
120 12g 0031mg 00g 2 oz. Sour Cream
172 01g 0295mg 01g 1/2 c. Black Beans
525 27g 1200mg 03g 1/2 Pepperoni Pizza

1492 58g 2508mg 14g TOTALS

I also walked on the Elliptical Trainer to burn 263 calories.

Today my calories look like this so far:

Cals Fat Sodium Fbr Food
160 04g 0075mg 04g Multigrain Instant Hot Cereal
116 00g 0002mg 05g Large Granny Smith Apple
150 00g 0150mg 00g Fat Free Caramel Dip
360 16g 0780mg 05g Amy's Cheese Tamale Verde
170 02g 0080mg 00g 6 oz. Strawberry Yogurt
080 01g 0080mg 10g 1/2 c. All-bran Original
1036 22g 1167mg 24g TOTALS

Friday, October 24, 2008

The "Contest"

I should have known things were not going to go well for me yesterday.

We finished work early on our business trip, so we were done by 1 pm! I was excited and wanted to drive back to Madison, and be home for dinner... But instead, we spent SIX HOURS in the Minneapolis Airport to take our scheduled 7:25PM flight to get to Madison at 8:30 PM.

Luckily - I made it to the contest in time but that is about when my luck ran out.

I went into the restroom to change into the outfit I asked Aaron to bring and noticed that my "monthly friend" wanted to be there for the contest too. Lucky me....

So the contest starts, and THE FIRST GUY to compete sings a very... "embellished" version of 'More Than Words!!!!"

It reminded me of when a singer "slaughters" the National Anthem by adding too many notes and warbling.

I was so upset! There were only 9 finalists and over 20,000 songs in the book and we pick the same song!!!!

I went up to the Karaoke guy and said, "This is the same song I put in!!"

He said that I could change my song. So I went back to my group of friends and explained the situation. A few other songs were bantered around, but in the end I decided to just sing it.

I few more male "singers" screamed out some angry guy metal songs.

I was the first female finalist of the night, and I brought down the house. I was the 5th singer of 10 which sucked. I wanted to be next to last... and the woman who was won. It's just the way it works with the judging.

The woman who won was a very good singer but one of the "screamer" guys came in second!

We were all like..."What? Him?!"

I still went over to congratulate him - and he asked if he could see my "tits." What a jerk!!!

Then put in another song to sing, and guy who was smoking outside ran in to "sing" with me. Grrrr.... My song was basically stolen from me.

I think I am going to go to a totally different Karaoke show from now on.

But I had lots of fun with everyone that came to cheer me on. :)

I have not weight myself yet since I got back. Tomorrow will be interesting.

Monday, October 20, 2008

192.75 After the Weekend!

After a beer and pizza fueled game day, I was really happy to see my weight was 192.75 this morning!

This has been a FANTASTIC month for weight loss. I have lost a quarter pound each day this entire month! Wow! This is amazing!

But now - I have to go away on Business Travel...

It is so scary having to eat out for every meal when on the road. I work long hours and when I get back to the hotel I do not want to go down to the pool or the gym. I want to just go to bed.

It is only for 2 days - so hopefully it will not kill my weight loss progress, but it is scary!!

I fly back to Madison Thursday night, and my plane is due to land at 8:30. I hope it is not delayed because the Karaoke Finals are Thursday night at 9:00!!!!! I will be just like a rockstar running over from the airport. :)

I plan to sing "More than Words" by Extreme

Wish me Luck!

Oops, I will also be going to a "girls only" retreat with my mom and sisters this weekend!!! My mom is the QUEEN of peer pressure. I hope I make it to Monday the weight I am today!!!

This might be a challege!!!

10/28/08 UPDATE!

The Karaoke was a disaster! The FIRST GUY up to sing in the contest SANG MY SONG! (More Than Words!!!) I went up to the Karaoke Guy and said... this is the SAME SONG I put in for the contest. He said I could change my song... but I could not think of another one I could do at such short notice. I stuck with my "repeat." I was so bummed and I think that showed in my performance I had a huge crowd there cheering for me... but I felt cheated by not having the element of originality.
:( Looking back I wonder if I would have placed if I had changed the song to another one? But then I think, if I DID another song I would think my lack of practice would kill it for me. *SIGH* No luck.

So sad. :(

Friday, October 17, 2008

Surprise! You Lost Weight!

This morning when I went into the bathroom to take my shower, I could not get my wedding ring off! The salty soy sauce I had with my Japanese lunch yesterday really puffed me up!

I braced myself as I stepped on the scale, expecting a spike in my weight. I was surprised when I saw I was 193.5!!!! I dropped a quarter pound even though my fingers were like sausages! :)

I am looking forward to stepping on the scale tomorrow after the puffiness goes away! :)

I read an interesting article today about how obese people expect more pleasure from food, but get less than their slender counterparts.

In the study they showed the women pictures of a glass of water and a chocolate milkshake.

They found the heavier the woman- the more her pleasure centers in her brain were stimulated by looking at the drinks.

HOWEVER - When they actually gave the women the water or the milkshake, the obese women's brains only measured a fraction of the pleasure experienced by the slender women!

The study concluded that obese women overeat because they are not getting the pleasure they were expecting.

Ironically, the more you eat, the less stimulation the brain gets!!! You get desensitized - build up a tolerance - grow immune to the pleasure of your food!!! (Like a drug addicition!)

This causes a bad cycle of getting less and less pleasure, yet eating more and more food while trying to reach the same "high" as before.

So now what?

Maybe you already knew you were a "food addict." But unlike drugs you - can never "kick" the food habit!!

Here are some ways I have found useful to help me regain control over myself.

  • Use a food journal

    • Keep track of what you are eating, and find what foods trigger your over-eating so you can plan for the future.

  • Eat a balanced wholesome diet

    • Eating healthy really helps your body and brain to work better! You really are what you eat. Check out the lables of what you are eating!

  • Give in to your Temptations

    • If you "deny" yourself eventually you will snap. Avoid a full-out binge by giving yourself a small treats. One piece of fried chicken should be enough to satisfy your craving, and keep your calories in line. DO NOT OVER DOSE ON FOOD!!! Eating more doesn't help. Even after a whole pint of ice cream you'll still feel sad and hallow! Only two bites of food really count. The first and the last. You need to train your brain to get pleasure from what it gets.

  • Go for Quality over Quanity!!!

    • This will help your brain enjoy your smaller treats. :)



My calories so far today:

170 - Vanilla Yogurt
80 - 1/2 cup All-Bran Cereal
190 - Fiber One Toaster Pastry Strawberry
330 - Lean Cuisine Flatbread Melt

That leaves about 1000 for whatever comes my way this Friday night!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Sashimi & Sushi Lunch! :-9

I was 193.75 again this morning!

My Calories - Thursday 10/16/08:

'160 - Oatmeal "Simple Harvest"
'140 - Banana
1000 - Miso Soup, 3 pc. Sushi, 6 pc. Sashimi and a California Roll. Note: 1000 is just a guess. Aaron had one of my Sashimi pieces, one piece from my California roll. '330 - Lean Cuisine Flatbread Melt
'220 - 1/4 c. Triple Chocolate M&Ms Premiums (AWESOME!)

I also worked out on my Precor elliptical trainer!


I have an enormous bruise on the inside of my right arm from donating the other day. They had trouble "placing the needle." Which basically means they dig around in your skin until they finally hit a vein. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Weather, Mood, and Food.

193.75 this morning! (That is the same as yesterday.)

Yesterday was a cold and rainy Wisconsin October day. It was so wet and gloomy! It really dampened my spirits - which might be why I felt so hungry yesterday!!!

I shivered all day at the office, even though I wore jeans and a thick sweatshirt! (Please turn on the heat!!!)

Being cold and droopy, my brain constantly sent me the signal "FEED ME!!!"

I did not want to load up on snacks because I was going to another Presidential Debate party last night!

I REALLY did not want "waste" my calories snacking at work - then have to face "party" food too!

I was FINALLY able to silence my "Hungry! Hungry! Hungry! Hungry!" alarm system when I had a nice big cup of hot calorie-free green tea! The heat and the caffiene really helped me feel back in balance!

I was able to hold myself to 890 calories while at work, leaving 1000 for at the party!! (Which I had some pizza, a fruit covered dessert and a beer.)

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Firing on All Cylinders!

I was 194.0 this morning!

I have lost 4.5 pounds since September 26! I am really back in the groove now!

I had some “puffy” days, but when they passed, my weight loss gets right back on track!

Monday's (10/13/08) Calories:

190 – All-Bran Toaster Pastries
150 – Banana
120 – 1 c. Almond Milk
330 – Chicken Philly Flatbread Lean Cuisine
110 – Large Green Apple
270 – Chocolate Clif Bar
525 – ½ a frozen thin crust pizza

Monday's Exercise:

30:11 minutes
1.77 miles
135.8 calories
2030 strides

My workout was light because I donated platelets after work. The Red Cross called me and said they were in need, and I was happy to come in and help!!

Platelets are collected by aphaeresis where I keep my red blood cells and can donate twice a week. I only do it about once a month though because they have to put a needle in each arm, and it takes about two hours!

I've got a lot of unpacking to do, so I'll blog more tomorrow!!

Jess :)

Poor Little Rhino!

A co-worker of mine was wearing a t-shirt yesterday with this image:


I felt so sorry for the little rhino running on the treadmill - with the impossible goal to become a unicorn.

I remember when I first started to get healthy… weighing under 200 pounds was like a unicorn to me - completely mythical, and impossible… But that did not stop me from working towards that goal!!

Weight loss is a day by day process. It is okay to have a Unicorn-like goal, but it is also important to have other “mini goals” along the way so you don’t become discouraged when your horn is still on your nose and NOT on your forehead yet!



Sunday, October 12, 2008

Catching up.

I won the Karaoke Contest on Thursday night!!!!!

I really need to think of a song to do for the finals. (Oct. 23rd)
I want to do "Crazy on You" by Heart, but I am not sure if the crowd would like it...

I am open to any suggestions!!!!!

Sorry I did not blog on Friday or Saturday. I was so distracted on Friday, and the next thing I knew, the weekend is GONE and I have not made a post to this blog!

I was 194.75 this morning! I am journaling all my calories and keeping myself under 2000 a day!!! Yea!!!

I did a lot of walking today. Aaron and I went shopping and went to the local zoo! It's only 8 PM here and I am bushed!! I might turn in early. :)


Thursday, October 9, 2008

I workout and gain a pound?

I was 197.50 this morning.

Yesterday I had:

``80.....1/2 c. All-bran cereal
`170....Flavored Yogurt
`460....Mushroom Parmesan Risotto
`100....whole wheat roll
`360....Hagen-Dazs Ice Cream Bar
`330....Lean Cuisine - Flatbread Melt

I worked out on my elliptical trainer for:

Time: 30:36
Miles: 2.01
Cals: 185.4
Steps: 2296

I am up a pound from yesterday. I think it's from trying to drink more water again and a salty lunch and dinner. I am puffy. It is temporary. :)

Tonight is the Karaoke contest again!!! I plan to sing Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." I am listening to it in a loop to memorize it. I will practice a few times tonight. I have invited about 8 people to join me - since judging is by "crowd reaction."

If I win tonight I get $15! At the finals (if I make it to the finals!) I plan to sing "Crazy on You" by Heart. It will be flipping awesome! If I win the finals, I get $200!!!!!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Let The Music Move You!

Yesterday's Calories:

160 Oatmeal

650 Le Greco Salad with Bread
    Kalamata olives, feta, red onions, artichoke hearts, capers and pine nuts over a bed of lettuce with a lemon vinaigrette. (Awesome! :9)
400 Pasta & Sauce

400 Red wine

440 2 s'mores bars


I put my data into my calorie calculator:

Body Mass lndex(BMI): 32.13

Basel Metabolic Rate(BMR): 1 672.98

Daily Caloric Need: 2300.34

Calorie Difference: -250.34

My weight has been the same for three days in a row now.

I have not been active since Saturday. That is the missing piece I need to finally get moving again. :)

I plan to work out tonight.

And speaking of exercising....

I recently read a news article about a study that found:
"People who exercise to music have better endurance than those who don't."

Am I the only one that thinks, "Well DUH!!!" They really spent money to study this?!?!

Of course workouts are bolstered by "pumping tunes!" You will run/walk/pedal to the beat and will keep a steady pace. You are also likely to keep going as long as the tunes last. :)

And speaking of music, I am going to the Karaoke contest again Thursday. Any rocking song ideas?!



Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Same Weight as Yesterday - 196.50

What I ate yesterday:

250....Chocolate Clif Bar

80.....1/2 c. All Bran

170....Strawberry Yogurt

330....Lean Cuisine - Chicken Pesto Flatbread Melt

240....Crab Stuffed Sole

170....1/2 c. Instant Mashed Potatoes

50.....1 c. French Cut Green Beans

180....Snickers Ice Cream Bar
1470 Total calories

Amazingly, I felt satisfied with that. I've started drinking LOTS of water again. I used to drink a gallon each day, and I slipped away from doing that.

I did not exercise, but I spent about 2 hours unpacking and moving boxes around. I have a huge bruise on three of my 4 limbs. (Left shins, and both forearms.) Wheee!

I will be going to a party tonight to watch the debate, so I will need to be careful not to eat "party food!"

I will post today's journal, and tomorrow's weight!



Monday, October 6, 2008

AM weight = 196.50

I was 196.50 this morning.

196.5 is a pound and a half less than I thought I weighed, so that is a good thing!

I am looking at things from the other side of the coin today. Instead of being depressed about my weight I see it as an oppertunity.

My WEIGHT LOSS blog is going to really be about losing weight again!

Friday, October 3, 2008

How Can The Same Size Feel So Different?

I am feeling really funky today.

Yesterday I bought a new pair of blue jeans a Reward for being active for two weeks solid!

They were a size 16.

I remember back in 2004 – I was THRILLED out of my mind to be able to wear a pair of size 16s.

My husband got me a pair of black velvet cargo pants from the GAP for Christmas in 2004. He was like, this is either going to be the best present ever - or the most depressing...

I took the pants back into the bedroom. I was so nervous and thrilled. Would they fit!? I had not wore a size 16 since 5th grade! I sat on the edge of the bed and shook them out in front of me and said a little prayer. (Please GOD!! I HOPE THESE FIT!!) I stepped into the pant legs, so far so good… I then stood-up, and pulled the waistband up over my hips. Button. ZIP! OH MY GOD!!!! THEY FIT!!! I was SO thrilled!! I am a size 16!!! I am out of the “plus sizes”!!! I can buy pants in the “Normal” stores now!!! I just glowed with happiness and confidence being a size 16!! Check out my sexy velvet-covered SIZE 16 butt! Sizzle Sizzle!!

Yesterday however… being a size 16 was like being stabbed in the heart. “Oh god… I am back up to a size 16?!! A year ago I was a size 8… Am I EVER going to fit back in my 8’s again?” A dark cloud hangs about my head today. I am trying to stay positive, and everyone has complemented me on my new jeans… But each time they do I think… “BUT I AM A SIZE SIXTEEN!!!!!!” The knife twists.

This past year has been a weight loss disaster. My weight is so close to cresting the 200 pound mark again I could just cry. I want to cry. I just want to lock myself away from everyone and cry my eyes out. I feel like such a failure.

I read my old postings and I am jealous of who I was. Back when I would bitch about being “Still stuck at 158.” I want to scream. “WHY ARE YOU SO MAD about weighing 158?!?!?! I’d have to lose 40 pounds to weigh that!? You have no idea how good you have it!”

You never really know what you had it until it’s gone.

I have almost 60 pounds to re-lose, and I am in a horrible mood.

I am still counting my calories (the best I can) and trying to keep active. But I’m running out of patience. I have had a YEAR of stress and weight gain… and I can’t take much more of this. ARGH!

I feel like I have turned into 198 pounds of pure rage. I am guessing at the weight, but our scale should be moved soon, and I will post my real weight soon.

Maybe I should do more daily postings of what I really weigh. I'll share exactly what I ate and what I did for exercise. That seems like what I did in the past, back when I was successful.

Sorry to vent, but that's what blogs are for, right?

Take care,


Thursday, October 2, 2008

I moved!

Aaron and I moved to our new place yesterday! Well... we are about 80% moved. We slept in the new place last night and one of our cats is NOT HAPPY AT ALL with the move. The other cat is like: "I CLAIM THIS LAND IN THE NAME OF SABINA!!!"
I hope Maxima settles down soon. :)

Aaron and I didn't remember the new place being so big, but it is like TWICE the size of our old place!

We had movers do the move and after experiencing that - I am never moving myself again! It was great to basically have two guys do all the work and I just had to point. "Put that bookcase over there..."

Aaron has been submitting his resume, and has 4 companies interested in him! His first interview is on Monday. I am excited for him, and for having a second income!

We have been eating out a lot recently due to the move and I am a bit bummed about it. It is so hard to count or even GUESS at your calories at some of the places we've ate.

I have started "working out" again. Basically I walk on the elliptical trainer for 30 minutes then rest for 3 days. It's the best I can do with my knee righ now, but it's a start!

I am working on putting my Cheetara costume on eBay. Once the Internet and phones are turned on at the new place, I will be able to put the auction up!!!