Monday, April 17, 2006

Under 150 again.

I was 149.50 this morning. That's 2.5 pounds less than what I was on Easter Morning! I guess a lot of that extra weight was bloat after all! I still have a long way to go to recover though...

I asked Aaron if I will get a reward if I am still under 150 next Monday, and he said, "Yeah, that is what we decided." I just had to make sure though.

To be honest, I feel miserable today. I am in a total funk. I think it is mild depression. I get this way after I have a huge weight spike. I try to not let it bother me... but it does. It really, really does.

I tried playing a game with Aaron but was distracted by counting up my calories and thinking that I should be exercising... It's impossible to have fun when you are worrying about something else... *SIGH*

I got really agitated by the game and I was already agitated enough by my weight. I decided I needed some chocolate to help curb my bad feelings... which is really anti-productive to my weight loss, but it gives me that "quick fix" feeling... But when I got there the cupboard was bare!! It turns out I've LOST our bag of Easter Candy!

So now I am beating myself up about losing the bag, and still wanting chocolate, and being "fat." Not fun. Argh! I just need to get my inner voices to accept the situation, and stop nagging/whining at me.

Here are some examples of what my inner thoughts are like right now:

"I want chocolate... wah!!!"
"You don't really need the chocolate."
"I don't care, it makes me feel better."
"Exercise will make you feel better too!"
"It is too late to exercise."
"It's never to late for Chocolate!"
"Don't worry about the stupid bag of candy."
"I feel so stupid and wasteful!"
"Even if you found the chocolate, you really shouldn't eat this late anyway."
"You should just go to bed."
"Yeah! I really should just go to bed."

I am gonna go to bed. Hopefully a good nights sleep will help me get out of this funk! :-) You would think that I wouldn't be this way... I have lost so much weight... yet still have days like this.

Let's hope tomorrow is a better day.

Good Night!!!


No Exercise Today
Total Calories: 1730

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