Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Total Loss of Control

The other day my roommate told me: “On Maui, you are not allowed to feel home sick.”

But I am homesick no matter what the “rules” are. I am on one of the most beautiful places on earth, on my company’s expense account, and I would rather be back home in the "ghetto."

Last night I just “snapped” and ate three bowls of cereal after supper. I was doing SO good that day until then. I was so careful with everything I ate, and even walked the 2 miles to the restaurant where I had a Citrus Grilled Chicken Breast. So healthy!

But then…
When I got home from the restaurant I wanted a “treat” so I had a Key Lime Pie Light Yogurt, with 1/2 a cup of all-bran… but that didn’t seem to do the trick. I wanted more!! So I went and just poured more cereal into the bowl without measuring this time, and added milk. Before I knew it… I was pouring another bowl!!!

Okay. Having a “binge” on All-Bran isn’t that bad, in fact the amount of fiber I ate last night just might nullify all those extra calories I consumed.

I am off to a rocky start again today. I got up and did some Tai Chi and Yoga, but then ran out of time, and had to run out the door to work without eating breakfast.

Then when I got into work, I started eating some of the “snacks” they have out. I had a hand-full of trail mix/dried fruit(100 calories), lots of Hershey’s Kisses (400 calories), and a bag of 100 Calorie Graham Cracker Goldfish snack pack, and now an apple fritter donut thingy... so... I am like already at 1000 calories so far!!! Not a good start!

Man! When you fall off the wagon it is so hard to get back up again! Today might not be perfect… But even if the rest of this trip turns into a weight loss disaster, I know that no matter how bad it gets, there is no way I will get up to 280 pounds in 3 days! ;) (But if I come back 150… I won’t be shocked.)

The Scale this morning said that I was getting close to 150, but I still seem to be in the 140’s – the mid to high 140’s - but I’ll be just fine. I just have to chill out.

I have been doing a great job on my water drinking, and I have been able to stay active. It is just the eating thing that has gone totally out of wack. I know that the reason my calories are out of control is because I lack control over what I have to eat.

Lunch and dinner come from restaurants each day. I have to pick from the menu… and that is what I am stuck with. I try to make the best choice, but even the best choice isn’t that healthy most times. They also give me huge "tourist-size" portions. *SIGH*

Okay. I am nearly home. I will get over this weight loss speed bump, and just enjoy my last few days here in moderation. I am stressing myself out too much about this "food thing."

I am gonna just "hang-loose" and just go with the flow here in Hawaii and stop FREAKING OUT.

I'll get back on track when I get back to the main land! ;-)

It may take me a month to get back down to where I was... but I know that I will get there eventually. It is all good. I know I can get over this! I have had it happen many times before.

I've totally had a "blow-out" but I will get my tire changed and get back on the road to healthiness! :) It is just gonna take a few days before AAA gets here with that tow-truck! heh ;)

Looking forward to getting HOME!!!!!



No comments: