Weather, Mood, and Food.

193.75 this morning! (That is the same as yesterday.)

Yesterday was a cold and rainy Wisconsin October day. It was so wet and gloomy! It really dampened my spirits - which might be why I felt so hungry yesterday!!!

I shivered all day at the office, even though I wore jeans and a thick sweatshirt! (Please turn on the heat!!!)

Being cold and droopy, my brain constantly sent me the signal "FEED ME!!!"

I did not want to load up on snacks because I was going to another Presidential Debate party last night!

I REALLY did not want "waste" my calories snacking at work - then have to face "party" food too!

I was FINALLY able to silence my "Hungry! Hungry! Hungry! Hungry!" alarm system when I had a nice big cup of hot calorie-free green tea! The heat and the caffiene really helped me feel back in balance!

I was able to hold myself to 890 calories while at work, leaving 1000 for at the party!! (Which I had some pizza, a fruit covered dessert and a beer.)

Firing on All Cylinders!

I was 194.0 this morning!

I have lost 4.5 pounds since September 26! I am really back in the groove now!



I had some “puffy” days, but when they passed, my weight loss gets right back on track!


Monday's (10/13/08) Calories:

190 – All-Bran Toaster Pastries
150 – Banana
120 – 1 c. Almond Milk
330 – Chicken Philly Flatbread Lean Cuisine
110 – Large Green Apple
270 – Chocolate Clif Bar
525 – ½ a frozen thin crust pizza
=================
1695


Monday's Exercise:

30:11 minutes
1.77 miles
135.8 calories
2030 strides


My workout was light because I donated platelets after work. The Red Cross called me and said they were in need, and I was happy to come in and help!!

Platelets are collected by aphaeresis where I keep my red blood cells and can donate twice a week. I only do it about once a month though because they have to put a needle in each arm, and it takes about two hours!

I've got a lot of unpacking to do, so I'll blog more tomorrow!!

Jess :)

Poor Little Rhino!

A co-worker of mine was wearing a t-shirt yesterday with this image:



Source: http://www.threadless.com/product/1000/Runnin_Rhino


I felt so sorry for the little rhino running on the treadmill - with the impossible goal to become a unicorn.

I remember when I first started to get healthy… weighing under 200 pounds was like a unicorn to me - completely mythical, and impossible… But that did not stop me from working towards that goal!!

Weight loss is a day by day process. It is okay to have a Unicorn-like goal, but it is also important to have other “mini goals” along the way so you don’t become discouraged when your horn is still on your nose and NOT on your forehead yet!

Cheers,

Jess

Catching up.

I won the Karaoke Contest on Thursday night!!!!!

I really need to think of a song to do for the finals. (Oct. 23rd)
I want to do "Crazy on You" by Heart, but I am not sure if the crowd would like it...

I am open to any suggestions!!!!!

Sorry I did not blog on Friday or Saturday. I was so distracted on Friday, and the next thing I knew, the weekend is GONE and I have not made a post to this blog!

I was 194.75 this morning! I am journaling all my calories and keeping myself under 2000 a day!!! Yea!!!

I did a lot of walking today. Aaron and I went shopping and went to the local zoo! It's only 8 PM here and I am bushed!! I might turn in early. :)

-Jess

I workout and gain a pound?

I was 197.50 this morning.

Yesterday I had:

``80.....1/2 c. All-bran cereal
`170....Flavored Yogurt
`460....Mushroom Parmesan Risotto
`100....whole wheat roll
`100....butter
`360....Hagen-Dazs Ice Cream Bar
`330....Lean Cuisine - Flatbread Melt
====================================
1600

I worked out on my elliptical trainer for:

Time: 30:36
Miles: 2.01
Cals: 185.4
Steps: 2296


I am up a pound from yesterday. I think it's from trying to drink more water again and a salty lunch and dinner. I am puffy. It is temporary. :)

Tonight is the Karaoke contest again!!! I plan to sing Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." I am listening to it in a loop to memorize it. I will practice a few times tonight. I have invited about 8 people to join me - since judging is by "crowd reaction."

If I win tonight I get $15! At the finals (if I make it to the finals!) I plan to sing "Crazy on You" by Heart. It will be flipping awesome! If I win the finals, I get $200!!!!!

Let The Music Move You!

Yesterday's Calories:

160 Oatmeal

650 Le Greco Salad with Bread

Kalamata olives, feta, red onions, artichoke hearts, capers and pine nuts over a bed of lettuce with a lemon vinaigrette. (Awesome! :9)

400 Pasta & Sauce

400 Red wine

440 2 s'mores bars

==============
2050


I put my data into my calorie calculator:

Body Mass lndex(BMI): 32.13

Basel Metabolic Rate(BMR): 1 672.98

Daily Caloric Need: 2300.34

Calorie Difference: -250.34


My weight has been the same for three days in a row now.

I have not been active since Saturday. That is the missing piece I need to finally get moving again. :)

I plan to work out tonight.


And speaking of exercising....


I recently read a news article about a study that found:
"People who exercise to music have better endurance than those who don't."

Am I the only one that thinks, "Well DUH!!!" They really spent money to study this?!?!

Of course workouts are bolstered by "pumping tunes!" You will run/walk/pedal to the beat and will keep a steady pace. You are also likely to keep going as long as the tunes last. :)

And speaking of music, I am going to the Karaoke contest again Thursday. Any rocking song ideas?!

Cheers!

Jess

Same Weight as Yesterday - 196.50

What I ate yesterday:



250....Chocolate Clif Bar

80.....1/2 c. All Bran

170....Strawberry Yogurt

330....Lean Cuisine - Chicken Pesto Flatbread Melt

240....Crab Stuffed Sole

170....1/2 c. Instant Mashed Potatoes

50.....1 c. French Cut Green Beans

180....Snickers Ice Cream Bar
===========================
1470 Total calories




Amazingly, I felt satisfied with that. I've started drinking LOTS of water again. I used to drink a gallon each day, and I slipped away from doing that.

I did not exercise, but I spent about 2 hours unpacking and moving boxes around. I have a huge bruise on three of my 4 limbs. (Left shins, and both forearms.) Wheee!

I will be going to a party tonight to watch the debate, so I will need to be careful not to eat "party food!"

I will post today's journal, and tomorrow's weight!

Cheers,

Jess

AM weight = 196.50

I was 196.50 this morning.

196.5 is a pound and a half less than I thought I weighed, so that is a good thing!

I am looking at things from the other side of the coin today. Instead of being depressed about my weight I see it as an oppertunity.

My WEIGHT LOSS blog is going to really be about losing weight again!

How Can The Same Size Feel So Different?

I am feeling really funky today.

Yesterday I bought a new pair of blue jeans a Reward for being active for two weeks solid!

They were a size 16.

I remember back in 2004 – I was THRILLED out of my mind to be able to wear a pair of size 16s.

My husband got me a pair of black velvet cargo pants from the GAP for Christmas in 2004. He was like, this is either going to be the best present ever - or the most depressing...

I took the pants back into the bedroom. I was so nervous and thrilled. Would they fit!? I had not wore a size 16 since 5th grade! I sat on the edge of the bed and shook them out in front of me and said a little prayer. (Please GOD!! I HOPE THESE FIT!!) I stepped into the pant legs, so far so good… I then stood-up, and pulled the waistband up over my hips. Button. ZIP! OH MY GOD!!!! THEY FIT!!! I was SO thrilled!! I am a size 16!!! I am out of the “plus sizes”!!! I can buy pants in the “Normal” stores now!!! I just glowed with happiness and confidence being a size 16!! Check out my sexy velvet-covered SIZE 16 butt! Sizzle Sizzle!!

Yesterday however… being a size 16 was like being stabbed in the heart. “Oh god… I am back up to a size 16?!! A year ago I was a size 8… Am I EVER going to fit back in my 8’s again?” A dark cloud hangs about my head today. I am trying to stay positive, and everyone has complemented me on my new jeans… But each time they do I think… “BUT I AM A SIZE SIXTEEN!!!!!!” The knife twists.

This past year has been a weight loss disaster. My weight is so close to cresting the 200 pound mark again I could just cry. I want to cry. I just want to lock myself away from everyone and cry my eyes out. I feel like such a failure.

I read my old postings and I am jealous of who I was. Back when I would bitch about being “Still stuck at 158.” I want to scream. “WHY ARE YOU SO MAD about weighing 158?!?!?! I’d have to lose 40 pounds to weigh that!? You have no idea how good you have it!”

You never really know what you had it until it’s gone.

I have almost 60 pounds to re-lose, and I am in a horrible mood.

I am still counting my calories (the best I can) and trying to keep active. But I’m running out of patience. I have had a YEAR of stress and weight gain… and I can’t take much more of this. ARGH!

I feel like I have turned into 198 pounds of pure rage. I am guessing at the weight, but our scale should be moved soon, and I will post my real weight soon.

Maybe I should do more daily postings of what I really weigh. I'll share exactly what I ate and what I did for exercise. That seems like what I did in the past, back when I was successful.

Sorry to vent, but that's what blogs are for, right?

Take care,

Jess

I moved!

Aaron and I moved to our new place yesterday! Well... we are about 80% moved. We slept in the new place last night and one of our cats is NOT HAPPY AT ALL with the move. The other cat is like: "I CLAIM THIS LAND IN THE NAME OF SABINA!!!"
I hope Maxima settles down soon. :)

Aaron and I didn't remember the new place being so big, but it is like TWICE the size of our old place!

We had movers do the move and after experiencing that - I am never moving myself again! It was great to basically have two guys do all the work and I just had to point. "Put that bookcase over there..."

Aaron has been submitting his resume, and has 4 companies interested in him! His first interview is on Monday. I am excited for him, and for having a second income!

We have been eating out a lot recently due to the move and I am a bit bummed about it. It is so hard to count or even GUESS at your calories at some of the places we've ate.

I have started "working out" again. Basically I walk on the elliptical trainer for 30 minutes then rest for 3 days. It's the best I can do with my knee righ now, but it's a start!

I am working on putting my Cheetara costume on eBay. Once the Internet and phones are turned on at the new place, I will be able to put the auction up!!!

Yea!

-Jess